OK, so nothing this year even came close to the gleeful, unbridled tackiness of last year's dead-swan dress worn by Björk. But we're determined to honor the best efforts. What was up with that "Thoth" guy skipping around with the violin? And did you see the guy who wore a fringed lampshade instead of a tux? Envelope please...
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DANIEL A. ANDERSON / KRT
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The Björkies don't want to be indiscreet here, but don't you think Gwyneth Paltrow could use some support? We mean from friends, of course, because clearly she doesn't have any. If she had, they would have told her she looks like some scrawny seventh-grader who's just been through an especially humiliating gym period. The Unsupported Bust Actress Björkie goes to Gwyneth, and the designer gets 50 push-ups. |
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Beautiful Mind, Horrible Dress! Hey Jennifer, can we borrow that after the ceremony? Because we haven't dusted for weeks. A special What Was She Thinking? Björkie for Jennifer Connelly.
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LAURA RAUCH / AP
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KEVORK DJANSEZIAN / AP
The selection committee for the Björkie Awards would like to lodge an official complaint against this outfit. How many birds have to die for the Academy Awards? Wasn't one gallant swan enough? Hmm? When will the killing stop? |
LAURA RAUCH / AP
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We're thinking Donna Reed, maybe a little Annette Funicello, a little early '60s Barbie thrown in and whipped up to high heaven with enough hair product to grease up Ethan Hawke for a year. Do we give Björkies for Most Hair Volumn? You bet we do! And this one goes to J-Lo!
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CHRIS PIZZELLO / AP |
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Björkie Scoop! An unidentified source has informed us that Faith Hill's dress is, in fact, a corporate billboard sponsored by Baskin-Robbins' Tutti Frutti Sherbet. Faith, you should have gone for French Vanilla.
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