Travel essay
The trouble with B&Bs: those uncomfortably friendly hosts

By Trudy Tantalo
Special to The Seattle Times

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I love the feeling of "coming home" each evening after our chosen adventure for the day. However, I always heave a sigh of relief if I see that breakfast will be at small individual tables rather than a communal one.

Here's the thing: We're introverts. That doesn't mean we're shy or anti-social or rude. Introversion is not "wrong." It's a legitimate state of being that a significant number of us share. It's just that our idea of vacation is more likely to involve being alone or with a few favorites than with people we don't know.

A few years back we stayed at a B&B near Leavenworth. I was delighted with the accommodations, which included a lovely, cozy room with its own little patio, adorned with comfortable furniture for reading. Our friendly hosts let us know when we were checking in that lemonade and snacks would be available in the late afternoon. How delightful, I thought.

I should have been more astute to recognize the signs when, at breakfast the next morning, our hosts served us, then sat with us and chatted the whole time. My husband and I are not particularly chatty in the morning and this was a minor annoyance, but we chalked it up to the friendliness of our hosts.

When we came back from a day of hiking and exploring and walked into the house, looking forward to a quiet afternoon of napping and reading, our hosts greeted us at the door and grilled us about our day. When a polite amount of conversation had taken place we pleaded fatigue and moved to our room for rest and relaxation. After a nap and some enjoyable solitary time on the patio, we decided to move upstairs for that promised snack.

We saw the pitcher of lemonade and the plate full of cookies sitting on the table on the large upper deck and headed toward it, books in hand, to enjoy the sunshine and more of what we wanted our vacation to have: peace and quiet.

Moments after we arrived and settled into comfortable deck chairs, so did our hosts. We smiled, nodded and spoke briefly, using what silences there were to pick up our books. Alas, it was not to be. Our hosts did not take the hint. After several attempts to read, we gave up, closed our books, smiled and nodded a lot as our hosts chatted away. We began looking at each other with the same (hopefully disguised) desperation. It was clear they were not going to be the first to leave, so it would be up to us to end this.

We managed to make our escape and return to our room, which we were now a little afraid to leave, lest our friendly hosts accost us again.

Hope arrived in the form of new guests. We could hear the hubbub of the arrival and the subsequent tour of the house through our closed door. We smiled, hopeful that the newcomers would keep our hosts happily occupied while we slipped in and out over the next few days. Still, we knew it was probably time to move on when we found ourselves tiptoeing into the house after arriving back from dinner, and stealthily looking around while we made our way to our room.

Steeling ourselves for breakfast the next morning we questioned whether something was wrong with us, that we chose solitude and quiet over endless conversation with strangers. Perhaps. But it's still the way we are. And since we were paying for the vacation, we wanted it the way we wanted it.
 
Since then I have made peace with my introversion. I've also happily discovered that many B&Bs are wonderful for both introverts and extroverts. The hosts are friendly enough to make us feel welcome but astute enough to take a hint when we'd prefer to read or be by ourselves.

Trudy Tantalo lives in Des Moines.

The Travel Essay runs each Sunday in The Seattle Times and also online at seattletimes.com. To submit an essay for consideration, make sure it's typed and no longer than 700 words. Essays, which are unpaid, may be edited for content and length. E-mail to travel@seattletimes.com or send to Travel, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111. Because of the volume of submissions, individual replies are not always possible.