There's something fishy about this PETA complaint

OK, we'll bite.

Everyone knows People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals loves to stage silly protests that keep its name in the news. And they got away with a doozy by questioning plans by a group of veterinarians to engage in a salmon toss at Pike Place Market.

A PETA spokesman said that "fish are intelligent, sensitive animals who deserve better than to be torn from their ocean homes, only to have their corpses used as toys." The group went on to question the rationale of tossing dead fish, noting that people would never toss around a dead mammal.

Just for the record:

• Fish caught around here aren't torn from their ocean homes. They're gently lifted, in a net, then swiftly sent to the great fishy beyond by a compassionate, humane bonk on the head.

• Seattleites would love to toss cattle and pigs, but as any out-of-work Boeing engineer would be happy to illustrate, they lack the necessary aerodynamics. Have you ever tried to pitch a rump roast over the heads of tourists at Pike Place?

• We respect PETA activists' cause, but wish they would stick to their highest and best use, namely getting Hollywood celebs to bare their tushies on the PETA Web site.

More pounds of airborne flesh:

Flying Fish Quote Of The Week: A spokesperson for Pike Place Market, to KING-5 News: "We're not doing a fish-throwing presentation. We're doing a presentation, and there might be fish thrown."

Boldly Covering Both Cheeks: The political arm of the Greater Seattle Chamber of Commerce issued a "dual endorsement" of incumbent Mayor Greg Nickels, D-Tote Bag, and one opponent, City Councilmember Jan Drago, D-Ponytail. That's the sort of gutsy stand that makes Seattle the place it is today.

Snow White: Millions of Americans were left staring at blank screens on Friday as the nation's television providers switched to digital transmission. Fortunately, only 12 of them noticed the difference.

High Times: Jack, a Seattle Labrador retriever mix, got sick after accidentally eating a large amount of marijuana at a Seattle park last month, his owner insists. The woman got suspicious when the dog came home with glassy eyes and fell over while trying to sit. She knew for sure he'd been into the evil weed several hours later when he held up an Alpo truck at gunpoint.

Note To Jack's Vet: Who told the dog's owner to remind Jack to "just say no" to drugs — we'll tell the jokes here, buddy.

Oh, The Humanity: Two French scientists predict the Earth will collide with other planets, causing destruction of the solar system, within 5 billion years. Note to self: Lower collision deductible on homeowners insurance in 4.99999 billion years.

Mr. Floatie Triumphs At Last: The city of Victoria announced it will finally stop pumping untreated sewage into the Strait of Juan de Fuca, as soon as a string of new treatment plants can go online — or when the earth is destroyed by planetary collision, whichever comes first.

One Question On That: Does this spell eventual doom for the annual Strait of Juan de Fuca Brown Trout Derby?

And Finally: A hazy, dreamlike orange glow at sunset around Puget Sound has been caused by drifting smoke, allegedly from wildfires, in British Columbia, weather officials say. One reason we think they're only half right: Jack the pot-scarfing dog reportedly has been staring to the northwest, sniffing the air, smiling and wistfully wagging his tail every night.

A section and Thursday's Sports section. E-mail: rjudd@seattletimes.com