Advertising

The Seattle Times Company

NWjobs | NWautos | NWhomes | NWsource | Free Classifieds | seattletimes.com

The Seattle Times

Columnists


Our network sites seattletimes.com | Advanced

Originally published Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM

Comments (0)     E-mail article     Print view

The Wrap | Ron Judd

Memo to candidates: Yeah, yeah, we get it already

Small suggestion for the next debate. Maybe Sens. John McCain, R-Thritis, and Barack Obama, D-Teeth, could simply agree to refrain from repeating a set of boilerplate talking-point assertions that have been made, heard, and beaten beyond recognition.

Seattle Times staff columnist

Related

Small suggestion for the next debate.

Maybe Sens. John McCain, R-Thritis, and Barack Obama, D-Teeth, could simply agree to refrain from repeating a set of boilerplate talking-point assertions that have been made, heard, and beaten beyond recognition.

A few examples of stuff that we get, already:

• McCain has a record. It's a long record. For 35 years, he has spent "a significant amount of time" in every nation on Earth, personally getting to know every world leader or military official, "looking them in the eyes" and seeing stuff that, amazingly, always seems to back up one of his preconceptions.

• "JohnMcCainGeorgeBush" is a mythical, single entity responsible for global warming, the downfall of the economy, the price of gasoline, the blown-out knee of Tom Brady, and the settling of the Alaskan Way Viaduct.

• McCain has a bracelet. He wears it in honor of a fallen soldier. Speaking of it, he summons an instant, creepy, dreamy look that suggests dying in uniform is the highest calling of a young American. Obama? "I have a bracelet, too." Congratulations. First guy to an ankle bracelet loses.

• Obama, considered by neutral observers to be uncommonly intelligent, "just doesn't seem to understand" much of anything now that he's running for president.

• Both candidates agree we should fear loose nukes. But only Obama has a plan to contain "noose lukes."

• The average South Korean is three inches taller than the average North Korean. They don't call him "Tape Measure" McCain for nothing.

More peaks on the CNN Dope-O-Meter:

Let's Do the Time Warp Again: At midweek, McCain had "suspended" his campaign to fly to Washington, D.C., and help forge a deal to keep the nation's economy from collapsing. He added that the suspension would be retroactive to the day before he recently declared "the fundamentals of our economy are strong."

Simple Math: One easy way for the lap-dog Democratic majority in Congress to start paying back that $700 billion: Stop financing the idiotic, $12-billion-a-month occupation of Iraq, which — remember? — is what many of them got elected to do in the first place.

advertising

Genuine Genuflection: It's not every day you see the Treasury secretary, Henry Paulson, literally take to one knee, begging for a loan from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to save Wall Street. These days, it's pretty much every 90 minutes.

Speaking of the bailout: Watching Congress bicker and sputter to get a deal to save the economy last week, didn't it occur to you how grand it would be to have someone in Washington, D.C., willing and able to take charge of this sort of crisis? Like, you know, a real president?

Meanwhile: Rounding out her résumé to become the next vice president of the United States, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, R-Yahoo!, visited the U.N. building, where she was introduced for the first time to several foreign leaders, and elevators.

Grounded: Two crows in the area have tested positive for West Nile virus. Both insisted they got it through a tainted nutritional supplement.

He's Still the King of Nothing: Among other trivia, the latest "citizens" initiative from professional huckster Tim Eyman requires synchronization of traffic lights on heavily traveled roads. Next up from Mr. Big Ideas: a measure specifying pansies, not petunias, in municipal flower boxes.

And Finally: State Democrats, never ones to file frivolous lawsuits, lost a legal challenge to force gubernatorial candidate Dino Rossi, R-Sprawl, to describe himself as "Republican" on the ballot rather than "GOP Party." Personally, we'd leave anyone insisting on calling himself a member of the "Grand Old Party Party" to his own devices.

Ron Judd's columns appear in Sunday's

A section and Thursday's Northwest Weekend section. Email: rjudd@seattletimes.com

Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company

More The Wrap by Ron Judd headlines...

E-mail article Print view      Share:    Digg     Newsvine

Comments
No comments have been posted to this article.

About The Wrap | Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.

The Wrap | Ron Judd: This decision gives up plenty to squawk about

Advertising

Video

Girls Soccer: Mercer Island vs. Glacier Peak
Mercer Island defeats Glacier Peak, 2-1, in a 3A state playoff quarterfinal on Saturday, Nov. 14.

Smash Putt! Miniature Golf
Opening day at Crystal Mountain
Video shows violent arrest by SPD
Fort Lewis Memorial
Highlights: Ken Auletta talks about "Googled"
Seattle International Cabaret Festival
Ken Auletta talks about "Googled"
Medal of Honor
Pelosi answers questions at Swedish Medical Center

Marketplace

nwautos

2009's most fuel-efficient sedansnew
Choosing a new sedan? Weigh the impact of your choice on your wallet and on the planet.
Post a comment

Open Houses

Find this weekend's open house listings.
Or search by location:

 
Most read
Most commented
Most e-mailed
 
 
Advertising