A chat with the incomparable Dina Martina, Christmas-show queen

Hardly anyone refers to Dina Martina as a female impersonator. As her current Christmas show demonstrates, she's so much more than a drag act. Created by Seattle performer Grady West, Dina is a connoisseur of tackiness (a yodeling pickle takes a bow in the new show) and a genius at whimsically mangling the English language for dramatic effect ("I am shingle") — yet she's always oddly endearing.

Despite her modest beginnings, she has now become the toast of London, Provincetown and Hawaii, and she counts actress/"View" maven Whoopi Goldberg and playwright Craig Lucas among her fans. She's back in town for the holidays — and had an e-mail question-and-answer session with The Times.

Q: You usually do your Christmas show in Seattle. Even though you've recently performed in several cities, you've made it a tradition to return to the Northwest for the holidays. What's the attraction, especially since you come from Las Vegas?

A: I was raised in Las Vegas and as anyone knows, Las Vegans are a proud people, trying to better the world through gambling. However, there's a certain je ne sais pas about your moist region that is undeniable. You have such a lovely Apple Maggot Quarantine Area.

Q: You're really giving your voice a workout these days. Do you have to drink warm soup before/after you perform?

A: I do. Not soup, but I have to drink a chocolate milkshake right before the show every night. My mother used to say, "Girl, you've got the golden pipes. You better baby 'em." In third-period choir, they used to call me "The Voice."

Q: Does your accompanist, Chris Jeffries, ever even hint at a smile?

A: Mostly on the inside. He's quite the wallflower, and I try to bring him out of his shell because I'm such a delightful extrovert. I think he's afraid that if he smiles too much he'll lose that young baby face and, I don't know, start looking like an old baby or somethin'. But I think that's a lot of hooey, because you know what they say — "white don't crack" — that's why I look younger than most. And because I use ointment. And I use light, upward sweeps, to protect the delicate crow's feet. I actually prefer to call them "pleats," but that's a personal choice.

Q: In your show you talk about your troubled first love. Why did he flee after a couple of weeks?

A: I think ... it was because we came from two very different worlds. I mean, I'm pretty much an all-around American girl, you know, camisole and jeans and I'm good to go. And he was an exchange student from Sweden — and not just Sweden, but the real rough part of Sweden — Grand Rapids. I think there were a lot of reasons it didn't work out. Two ships, you know?

Q: When did you first appear on stage?

A: When I was very young, I won the Young Miss Las Vegas Pageant by singing a lovely piece by Beethoven. After that, I did a lot of cereal and shampoo commercials. I was the Johnson's Thumbtacks Girl. Then I modeled for a while, mostly for the Braille edition of Vogue. But really, I suppose my first work on the stage was doing stand-up comedy, which I think a lot of people don't know about me. I was very successful though, and mostly known for my dialysis humor.

John Hartl: johnhartl@yahoo.com