"Bachelor" rewind: Reliving the best worst moments of the season

That green room must have been awkward.

Time (and maturity) sometimes smooth things over by the time "The Bachelor's" customary almost-end-of-season "Women Tell All" episode airs, but I like it better when the contestants don't grow up.

Natalie, I'm so glad you're listening. Now that we're down to the final two, the show is getting kind of serious and hard to make fun of, but you are not.

In case anyone forgot, she's the blond who Jason dumped after a one-on-one date to Vegas, seething she was "super attractive" after she got the boot. Last night, she denied freaking out after being splashed in the pool, claimed she was stereotyped — for what, I couldn't figure out — and didn't know the girls disliked her until she watched the show. I suppose girls walking the other way isn't a clear sign.

But mostly I was excited they replayed my favorite line: "You don't feel a connection with me? Like, who do you think you are, God?"

This episode also gave us happy "Bachelorette" couple Trista and Ryan, who will be trotted out until the end of franchise time, and Charlie O'Connell and Sarah Brice from Season 7, who split but are back together. I'm waiting for the Save the Dates.

Jason offered us a few not-very-revealing tidbits: the overnight tent date with Molly was mostly innocent; he thought the dead dove Naomi's mom whipped out was a joke; and he didn't want to kiss a snotty, tearful Shannon after the "General Hospital" group date. I needed to see that again.

But the most refreshing, normal person on air last night was Jillian. She hasn't been gone a week, and I want her back. Jill respected Jason's decision.

Nobody respects the decision! She's heartbroken and that's just the way it goes. Stop it already. But Chris helpfully hinted that she'd be a great next "Bachelorette," and based on a couple of Prince Charming references, she'll be back.

Now it's time to rest up for next week's "Bachelor" marathon. Chris is promising us a finale and a super secret extra episode. My head is spinning from all the rumors. Will it be Melissa or Molly? I refuse to choose just one.

Nicole Tsong: ntsong@seattletimes.com