Golden Globes | Joan, Melissa Rivers deliver a double-dose of cheek about chic

Somewhere in Hollywood, Joan and Melissa Rivers are lighting candles and praying to the fashion gods for America Ferrera to take a wardrobe cue from Ugly Betty. (Ponchos are so slimming.) Or for Beyoncé to let her mom style her as if she were still in Destiny's Child. One can only dream, girl.

The Golden Globe Awards are tonight, and it's more fun on the red carpet that way.

"You're waiting for Demi Moore in bicycle pants [at the Academy Awards, circa 1989]. You're waiting for the moment when someone says, 'I designed my own dress,' " says Melissa Rivers, who joins her mother to host TV Guide Channel's fashion coverage of the Golden Globes starting at 6 tonight. The 64th annual awards ceremony, which recognizes achievement in television and film and is Oscar's more playful and boozy cousin, airs at 8 p.m. on KING-TV. We got a red-carpet preview from the fashion police:

Q: First things first: What are you wearing?

Joan: I'm wearing Pamela Dennis and I'm going to wear my underwear over the dress, just to save the paparazzi from having to bend down. Because we're all getting a little older.

Melissa: I don't know yet.

Q: What trends do you expect to see on the red carpet this year?

Melissa: I think we're still in that flowy, goddess-y kind of moment.

Joan: That's right. I think the little slip dresses are gone. I think a lot more black, which started at the Emmys.

Melissa: Black is the new black.

Joan: That's gonna throw everybody.

Q: Let's talk about the hair — straight, loose, updo, finger curls?

Joan: It's extension city. Everybody's wearing them now. You don't dare pull anybody's hair because it might come off in your hand.

Q: What's the biggest red-carpet "don't"?

Joan: What is ruining some of the looks is [celebrities] are getting too thin. Some of the dresses don't look good.

Melissa: You don't want to see the hip bones.

Joan: It can be frightening. They turn around and it looks like chicken wings in the back.

Q: What do you do to prepare for the red carpet?

Melissa: Cram like finals. We have everything in research notebooks: what they're nominated for, interesting facts about the project, personal tidbits.

Joan: We've been watching the [nominated] movies and TV shows over Christmas.

Q: Which nominees are you most looking forward to seeing?

Melissa: The name that keeps coming up to both of us is Cate Blanchett, who is not only staggeringly talented but has so much style.

Joan: Leonardo DiCaprio. Adorable, adorable.

Melissa: The big gets are going to be [Martin] Scorsese and [Clint] Eastwood. That's going to be the big story.

Q: Who's your favorite red-carpet interview?

Joan: I love Meryl Streep. She's fun to interview. She always enjoys where she's landed, and that's very nice. She also usually brings a child along. I love when they bring the family to enjoy the night with them. I can't wait to see Helen Mirren on the carpet. I bet she's going to look very glamorous. I think she wants to look the antithesis of how she looked in 'The Queen.'

Q: What would you say if you saw Ugly Betty on the red carpet?

Joan: Oh, I think you'd call the guards.

Pamela Sitt: 206-464-2376 or psitt@seattletimes.com