Overwhelmed parents and out-of-control kids are prime-time TV fodder these days, but it's not just for sitcom laughs anymore.

Viewers of Fox's "Nanny 911" and ABC's new "Supernanny" are finding dysfunctional real-life families entertaining and even educational — if parents are willing to spend their free time watching someone else's children throw tantrums. After a day with their own kids, it may be a little too much reality for some.

The competing shows place a no-nonsense British nanny in a chaotic home with wild kids and ineffective parents. The nanny observes, tsk-tsks, offers some tough-love advice to parents and imposes control. The programs intersperse interviews with parents and nannies with repeated shots of kids hitting, crying, refusing to go to bed and pitching fits.

"When I saw ['Nanny 911'], I got excited that a show focused on parenting issues," said Thelma Dirkes, staff program coordinator at Parent Trust for Washington Children, a Seattle-based nonprofit that works to prevent child abuse. Despite some drawbacks, "it promotes good, positive parenting techniques and shows that spanking and yelling are tools that don't really work."

ABC's "Supernanny," based on a British show of the same title with the same nanny, Jo Frost, premiered Jan. 17. Frost also wrote a book, "Supernanny: How to Get the Best From Your Children," published by Hyperion this month.

"Nanny 911," which premiered in the fall, ranked about 50th in TV ratings. It rotates several nannies with different families. (Though it aired first, it's actually the copycat.) It's on hiatus but Fox is currently shooting more episodes. When it returns later this season, expect a local twist: A casting producer was in town interviewing Seattle-area families earlier this month.

"These shows address real anxieties that parents feel, that they're not good enough parents and their kids are not as successful as they want them to be," said Steven Mintz, co-chair of the nonprofit Council on Contemporary Families.

With fewer ties to extended family, "we often know very little about how others live," said Mintz, a history professor at the University of Houston. "These shows are peepholes into other people's private lives." And let's face it: "People have always liked spying on their neighbor," said author and University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz. "This is just applying the reality TV formula to a new location."

Practical advice

While viewers may have a hard time finding ways to, say, apply survival techniques learned from "Survivor," the nanny shows do highlight practical parenting tips.

Much of the advice is common sense, but parents don't always realize they're not following it. "We don't see how bad it is when we do it," said Schwartz, noting the shows serve as a sort of mirror. "But watching another parent on TV, it's 'Wow, is that what I look like when I yell?' "

The shows' archetypes — overwhelmed moms who don't discipline, uninvolved dads and dictatorial tots — offer a lesson on what not to do, said former Seattle nanny Zipporah Lomax. "A little bit of structure and consistency go a long way," she said. " 'Nanny 911' shows that pretty clearly."

Viewers will fall into two camps: "Those terrible parents!" or "Hmm, I've done that."

After watching an episode where the parents yelled constantly, one couple decided to change. "We only have two kids, but it gets loud in our house a lot," noted a December posting on the "Nanny 911" message board. "So I said to my husband, 'If they can do it, why can't we?'

"My 8-year-old son woke up yelling at me. I got close to him and told him that we are not yelling in this house anymore. That morning was the hardest!"

But after two weeks, "my house is a much more peaceful place."

On the other side is a parent writing on the Seattle Craig's List forum. "The shows make me realize I'm a great parent. Sure, there is always room for improvement, but I'm nowhere close to being as out of control." But that doesn't make for good TV. "My 3-year-old, and 1-year-old twins and I would bore viewers to tears."

"Real" families?

No one really expects "reality" TV to be realistic, but how far out are these families with preschoolers who curse at mom, 4-year-olds who still suck on pacifiers and 7-year-olds who won't go to sleep without mom?

"It looks so severe, but in reality, parents face many of the same kinds of behavior in their kids," Dirkes said.

For dramatic purposes, the shows distill a week's worth of interaction into an hour, with repeated clips of the kids' most dreadful manners. Imagine the worst minutes of your worst day flickering on screen over and over. ("Nanny 911" gives participants a prize, such as a trip, at the end; in "Supernanny," a calmer household is the reward.)

"What the nanny reality shows [and other popular shows, like "Desperate Housewives"] reveal through their depiction of dramatic situations is that all parents, at one time or another, will probably feel as though they need some help," noted Alaina Smith, placement coordinator for The Seattle Nanny Network. "The results of seeking assistance in the form of an experienced caregiver can be enormously beneficial."

For Dirkes, the quick resolution of problems is the most unrealistic aspect. As Fox's Web site claims, "a nanny specialist will come to your home, assess the situation and work their incredible 'Mary Poppins'-like magic to transform your terrible tykes into perfect angels."

Dirkes hopes parents don't feel like failures if they can't make such dramatic improvements. "It's the difference between short-term solutions and long-term change," she said.

While some seem over-the-top, profiled families would not be considered "high risk," since they don't struggle with poverty or homelessness, Dirkes noted.

Indeed, what makes the families different from the statistical norm is the number of kids — several of the featured families had five kids, one had seven — and that all are white, financially comfortable and married.

So far, the programs haven't profiled any families of color, dealt with cultural differences or delved into issues affecting single parents, blended families or kids with special needs. "Supernanny" will feature a Latino family in an upcoming episode and if it returns next season, producers are "definitely interested" in single parents and more minority families, an ABC spokeswoman said.

The shows certainly don't reflect a real nanny's job, said Lomax, who recently moved to Canada, but she and a fellow nanny still got together weekly to watch "Nanny 911." "We laugh when they pan to the nanny's face and we have the same reaction," she said. "We say, 'Thank God our kids are not that bad!'

"I don't think by any stretch these families are the norm," she said. "I've never experienced that kind of pandemonium."

Suzanne Royer McCone, president of Seattle-based Annie's Nannies, says the shows haven't prompted emergency calls. While nannies sometimes feel they're a family's "saving grace," "parents don't tell us they need help that way," McCone said. Instead, parents turn — rightly — to their pediatricians for behavioral issues.

Annie's Nannies places caregivers where they'll fit in with a family. "We don't come in with a book of rules," Lomax explained. "We sit down with parents and talk about their ideas about discipline. We're here to facilitate a smooth household rather than come in and educate."

So what's next? If reality TV continues borrowing from across the Atlantic, the BBC could offer several shows, including "Who Rules the Roost?," where working moms and dads take turns staying home with kids full time and "The Parent Trap," where 20somethings still live with their parents.

Stephanie Dunnewind: sdunnewind@seattletimes.com or 206-464-2091.