Kay McFadden / Times staff columnist
"Life As We Know It" in Seattle deserves better home on ABC

MICHAEL COURTNEY / ABC-TV ABC's "Life As We Know It" stars Chris Lowell and Kelly Osbourne.

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Last year, ABC had Drew Carey, and The WB still was marketing teen angst.

But networks with low ratings are like politicians with low polling. They try new identities. And so tonight, The WB presents "Drew Carey's Green Screen Show" at 8:30 while ABC unveils the adolescent dramedy "Life As We Know It" at 9.

"Life As We Know It" is nominally set in Seattle. This time, the requisite shot of the Space Needle pushes metaphorical boundaries, as the series is mainly about the mind of the teenage male.

"They say boys think about sex every 15 seconds," says Jonathan (Chris Lowell) in the introduction. "I think about it every five seconds. I'm thinking about it now. And now. And now."

All this is stated directly to the camera, a technique "Life As We Know It" frequently employs to the accompaniment of jumpy visual cuts and crashing guitar chords.

At various times, Ben and his two buddies — handsome Dino (Sean Faris) and gawky Ben (Jon Foster) — will confess their secret thoughts, revealing an inner world more complex than the outer world generally credits to adolescents.

That's one of the most likable things about "Life As We Know It." Neither crass "Man Show" nor hypersensitive "Dawson's Creek," the series strikes a good balance between jerky behavior and turbulent emotion.

Dino has devised a scheme to get girlfriend Jackie (Missy Peregrym) to give her virginity to him. Although his egocentric calculations are chilling, his reflections reveal a jumble of motives.
 
"There's somethin' about bein' the first guy there. You're the first and no one can take that away," he says. "I love the way she makes me feel. The way other people look at me when she's on my arm. Like if she chose me, I can do anything I want with my life."

Dino's plans may alter when he learns more about how adults in his family conduct their sex lives. "Life As We Know It" arranges a few back-burner stories to keep the heat on.

It's scarcely needed, though, with three main characters and two interesting plots. Besides Dino, there's Jonathan, who's got a crush on Deb (Kelly Osbourne, looking cute and mostly de-Gothified).

But Jonathan is afraid to admit it, because Deb is chubby. He knows the school consensus is that thin rules. How he resolves his dilemma is a highlight this evening.

"Life As We Know It" isn't perfect. In an effort to represent different kinds of high school experiences, the series overloads with Ben's crush on a hot-babe teacher. This scenario is as old as a school lunch Sloppy Joe and feels just as thin and watery.

The parents also are a little too slick and well-dressed for Queen Anne, where the action apparently takes place. (Bellevue, maybe.)

Otherwise, "Life As We Know It" adeptly fills in background with overcast skies, an abundance of minor characters and a good ear for the ongoing babble and banter of the teen years. The first-person narrative works surprisingly well.

Although the focus is on the boys, the girls aren't left out. Scenes in the high-school lavatory and shopping mall capture the frank conversation and endless strategizing.

Solid performances, good writing and excellent music and pacing keep "Life As We Know It" above average. ABC should bump the moribund "8 Simple Rules" and "Complete Savages" and put this on at 8 p.m. Fridays instead.

Hilda is disappointed

"Drew Carey's Green Screen Show" opens with a bouncy, Univision-like theme that drew my cleaning lady into the living room. "Spanish?" she asked, hopefully.

Frankly, Hilda and I both get more entertainment mileage out of the game shows that she prefers. "Green Screen" is based on a single gimmick: parlor competitions à la "Whose Line Is It, Anyway" performed against the so-called "green screen" into which cartoonists insert computer-generated animation. That's mildly amusing for an improv/animation series, but you soon realize you'd have much more fun doing this stuff than watching it.

That is the key to programs like "Sabado Gigante," the marathon Spanish-language spectacular that veers from music to comedy to contests in which audience members are humiliated to their apparent delight: Through them, we vicariously participate.

On "Green Screen," alas, the studio audience can only shout out minor suggestions. The cast provides, and enjoys, most of the yucks. Perhaps viewers bludgeoned into affable stupor by the preceding "Blue Collar TV" won't care.

Kay McFadden: kmcfadden@seattletimes.com