Ryan Rowland-Smith takes long road back to Mariners' rotation

TACOMA — The plan was for Ryan Rowland-Smith to make one more rehab start, throw 100 pitches with purpose, before returning to the spot in the back of the Mariners' rotation.

After experiencing pain in his left elbow after a mere 3-1/3 innings in his Mariners debut this season, Rowland-Smith had battled through the tedious hours of rehabilitation and the boring days on the disabled list. In May, while serving his time in Tacoma, he allowed only one earned run in his first nine innings.

Now he had one more audition before he returned to the big leagues. Only one more game. And then ...

"I was terrible," Rowland-Smith said this week outside the Rainiers' clubhouse. "That night was, by far, the worst outing I've ever had professionally. I couldn't figure it out. I had no answers. It was unacceptable. It was embarrassing."

On that June 5 night at Cheney Stadium, Rowland-Smith allowed 12 runs and 14 hits in 4-2/3 innings. He came back to the Mariners' clubhouse the next day, bloodied and emotionally rattled.

He went into Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu's office and tried to explain exactly what happened. He was told what he already knew.

"You're not ready to step back into a big-league game and pitch," Wakamatsu said.

"He had a point," Rowland-Smith said, "and it was just a matter of me getting my head around it. I had to get back to me being me."

Call that night a test. Call it a gut check to see if Rowland-Smith's head was as healthy as his arm. Call it an opportunity to measure the size of his heart and gauge the level of his commitment.

The way he reacted to the disappointment of that night says a lot about Rowland-Smith's character. He came back with the same grit he has shown since the Mariners signed him out of Australia in 2000. He showed the same kind of resiliency that has been a trademark of this team, this season.

In his next seven starts with the Rainiers, he allowed just 14 earned runs. He lowered his earned-run average from 8.56 to 4.31. He won his final four starts.

He made it back.

Rowland-Smith will be the starting pitcher tonight as the Mariners return home against Cleveland.

"The last couple outings here have been the same feeling as I had — going out and trusting the second inning, the third and fourth and so on — as I had last year," said Rowland-Smith, who finished 5-3 last season in Seattle, with a 3.42 ERA. "I know I can do it at that level. I've done it at that level. I know I'm ready to go."

If he pitches well, it might make the idea of trading starter Erik Bedard more palatable. At least, if Rowland-Smith throws a quality start, he can make the ever-changing back end of the Mariners' rotation more dangerous.

Rowland-Smith, 26, is back, and his relief and excitement were obvious as he talked about the ordeal that began in April in Oakland.

Even though he did his therapy with the Mariners and hung out with his teammates, he said he felt like he was taking up a seat on the plane that didn't belong to him.

He often talked about his anxieties and feelings of loneliness with his good friend and fellow Aussie, Grant Balfour, a reliever with Tampa Bay.

"You've been your own best pitching coach since you were 12 years old," Balfour would tell him. "You know what it takes to get out of little funks. You've come all that way. Trust whatever you were doing in the past."

After Rainiers games, Rowland-Smith would drive back to his Seattle home and listen to the Mariners' postgame show. He felt the rush of excitement returning to the city. The Mariners were surprising people, and Rowland-Smith desperately wanted to be part of that again.

"I finished last year up so positive and I had a huge offseason," he said. "I showed that I could pitch at that level. I was coming into a situation where I told myself, 'I'm going to be part of this team and I'm going to set some big goals for myself.' Then, all of a sudden, I had a roadblock like this.

"It really got me down. I was dealing with a lot of stress after that. There was so much positivity in the locker room, and you want to contribute to that. I mean, you're there every day and you're doing your treatment, but you're not contributing. You feel like you're just taking up space."

The waiting is over. His time to contribute has arrived. Space has been made for him in the starting rotation.

Ryan Rowland-Smith's season begins in earnest tonight. The timing couldn't be better.

Steve Kelley: 206-464-2176 or skelley@seattletimes.com