Seahawks solutions are just around the corner

A blooper-reel season continues now with the Great Cornerback Outage of 2007.

The Seahawks' misfortune already has made us fixate on Shaun Alexander's left foot, on Matt Hasselbeck's right knee and on both sides of Jerramy Stevens' brain. It already has made us consult medical dictionaries about ailments to Robbie Tobeck and Bobby Engram. It already has helped the oft-injured Floyd "Pork Chop" Womack set a new personal record for aches.

Now this. Three of the team's top four cornerbacks are injured as the playoffs begin. Unless Champ Bailey is available for rent, this is a problem.

What to do? Well, first of all, lighten up. Realize the Seahawks' injury rash is not uncommon, just unfortunate. Be thankful Saturday's opponent, Dallas, lives on the verge of self-destruction.

And if none of that works, ponder these seven playful options for cornerbacks. They sure beat suggesting viable replacements (such as the big-name, small-impact Mike Rumph), or wondering whether recently signed Rich Gardner, who I think Will Smith plays in "The Pursuit of Happyness," can make an impact.

Option 1: Shift a wide receiver to the defensive backfield

Why: The Seahawks have too many receivers, even with Darrell Jackson's toe hurting. Couldn't Engram follow New England's Troy Brown and play on defense in certain situations? Or maybe Nate Burleson is a better option. His move to return specialist has given this team a boost, so how about continuing to test his versatility?

Why not: Engram is still trying to return to form after his illness. And the lanky Burleson just seems too nice to play defense.

Option 2: Put Julian Peterson back there

Why: The linebacker is known for his multifaceted skills. He loves talking about a game during his San Francisco days in which he nearly played all 11 defensive positions. He has been the Seahawks' most reliable defensive player, so if you must trust somebody, he's the guy. And just seeing Peterson attempt a corner blitz would increase the franchise's value by at least $3 million.

Why not: Considering how inconsistent the pass rush has been, moving Peterson from outside linebacker would be a dangerous mistake.

Option 3: Bring Nate Robinson back home

Why: Because he helped turn an NBA game into an Ultimate Fighting Championship match, Robinson is serving a suspension. And do you remember him out-jumping Mike Bush during his time on the Huskies football team? And did you see him climb Mount Yao for a blocked shot earlier this season?

Why not: Despite his leaping ability, he's only 5 feet 8, if that, which would make a small Seahawks defensive backfield even smaller. And did you see how long it took Robinson to take down J.R. Smith? The Seahawks have enough tackling problems.

Option 4: Move the game to Primetime

Why: "Primetime" Deion Sanders, perhaps the greatest cover corner in NFL history, is cocky enough to make a second comeback. And he's still athletic enough to make some plays on third down. The Seahawks might have to decorate his locker with diamonds, but what's a little ice for a certain Hall of Famer?

Why not: Sanders couldn't defend Terrell Owens any better than he does as a television personality/T.O. crony.

Option 5: Let T.O. defend himself

Why: The single cornerback alignment could work. Cover Glenn and let Owens roam. T.O. drops more passes than Jackson these days. And if quarterback Tony Romo ever chose not to throw to a wide open Owens, T.O. might quit midgame and offer to play corner for the Seahawks.

Why not: The Seahawks would rather accidentally overdose than credit T.O. for a victory.

Option 6: Call Jim Mora Jr.

Why: The ex-Atlanta Falcons coach was a defensive back at UW, and he needs a job. To his detriment, he has already expressed how much he wants to get back to Seattle.

Why not: After watching his Falcons drop so many balls this season, he'll probably assume all receivers can't catch anymore and forget to defend passes.

Option 7: Sign Jessica Simpson

Why: She may or may not have a romance going with Romo, but without question, Romo wants her. He's a guy, isn't he? If the Seahawks put Simpson at corner, Romo would loft passes her way all game just to flirt.

Why not: The distraction factor. Romo wouldn't be the only player on the field unable to concentrate. Besides, the Seahawks shouldn't trust someone who has made millions while pretending to be dumb.

... Well, I tried. But it looks like the Great Cornerback Outage of 2007 will amble on. We've reached Day 3 already. And you can't blame Puget Sound Energy for this one.

Jerry Brewer: 206-464-2277 or jbrewer@seattletimes.com