If image is everything, male skaters are lacking

ST. LOUIS — Evan Lysacek. Johnny Weir. Timothy Goebel. Michael Weiss.

Sound familiar?

That's the problem. They're the leading contenders for the men's U.S. figure skating title — in this country, an honor right up there on the notoriety scale with sexiest offensive lineman.

The eyes of the winter sports world this week are on St. Louis, site of Saturday's quadrennial crowning of the American figure-skating contingent for the Winter Olympics.

The skirted contingent, at least.

To much of the sporting world, the race to make the men's figure-skating squad for Turin is a struggle to fly overseas and finish fourth, living in a massive media shadow cast, ironically and humiliatingly, by someone like 5-foot Sasha Cohen, whose listed weight of 95 pounds clearly was registered after a rib 'n reef special at Claim Jumper.

These guys aren't just an afterthought; they're a neverthought.

Reasons? It'll take greater figure-skating minds than this one — or maybe Dick Button — to expound on that with any degree of authority.

But several come to mind.

Foremost is the obvious: Performance. While no one was looking, Goebel, 25, grabbed a bronze medal in Salt Lake City four years ago. Of course, in the American lexicon, bronze translates to two spots down from winner. Especially in figure skating, which in this country has a proud tradition of female Olympic champions, dating exactly 50 years: Sarah Hughes. Tara Lipinski. Kristi Yamaguchi. Dorothy Hamill. Peggy Fleming. Carol Heiss. Tenley Albright.

On the men's side? Since 1960 at Squaw Valley, only Brian Boitano (1988) and Scott Hamilton (1984) have earned the gold standard. And both of them went on to well, fame as promoters of cheeseball ice shows coupling has-been Olympic skaters with really-has-been singers.

The men's Olympic medal cupboard has been relatively bare for more than a decade. And everyone knows how much America loves a winner.

Beyond that, there's the matter of style.

Let's be honest: Rightly or wrongly, our culture idolizes male sports stars who are bold, brawny and bombastic — swarthy, even. Figure skaters, in spite of their immense athleticism and dogged training, don't fit the bill, and some of the sport's luminaries admit it.

"When people look at figure skaters, they think of beauty and music," says veteran coach Frank Carroll, who has taught both men and women, including Michelle Kwan, perhaps the most graceful and artistic skater of all time.

Those are female attributes, Carroll says.

"The guys' athletic prowess isn't appreciated as much as the beauty of the girls," Carroll says. "I really like to see men skate like men. The femininity and beauty of the women are also wonderful. It's a different mix. It depends on what attributes they like. I think women overshadow the men here."

America likes them both, and television ratings prove it. But they also prove that they love the female variety better.

That might be just a testament to the skill and artistry of the women. But it's also indicative of a bit of a laugh factor at the men, who hit the ice in costumes fitted with more sequins than you'll find in a recycle box behind the Country Music Hall of Fame.

Ladies, dial up the event on TV this weekend and then ask your guys: Would any of them be caught dead in one of Weir's on-ice getups, which even friend and competitor Goebel calls "a little eccentric"?

Granted, judging any man by the sparkle factor of his one-piece, poofy-sleeved spandex matador's outfit is unfair, and has little to do with his athletic prowess, which, among figure skaters, borders on spectacular.

But in an image-driven world, it's also very real.

Beyond that, you really question how badly this generation really has the drive to dominate the world like, say, Button, a pioneer who remains the only U.S. man to repeat as Olympic gold medalist (1948 and 1952).

America's top male skaters — each of them chasing the current (Russian) world men's gold standard — do themselves no favors when they discuss the matter publicly, offering up Oprah-moment confessions that for them, skating is not about winning and losing, but the journey.

"It would be great to go to the Olympic Games and the World Championships," two-time reigning U.S. champion Weir said Wednesday. But, he added, "I'm not placing all my worth as a skater and all the years of blood, sweat and tears to make it to one event. It's silly and it's unrealistic, and it'll eat away at you if you let it."

Sorry, Johnny: It really is about one event, at least in the winners-and-losers game of Olympic competition. Maybe if a few more American men saw it that way and prepared thusly, the tables would turn.

We won't hold our breath. Too many important questions need to be answered in St. Louis this week by America's top male skaters. Like this one, actually lobbed Wednesday at Lysacek, as he discussed his choice of theme music, "Carmen."

"Are you concerned at all that you're going to be accused of being a bit redundant in your music choices?"

Join us in trying to imagine Walter Jones fielding that one.

Ron Judd: 206-464-8280 or rjudd@seattletimes.com