Sideline Chatter
These guys are known for their reckless gambits

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

Either way, Peyton Manning should be safe.

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Looks like yet another world-championship event has post-competition drug testing in its future.

Zurab Azmaiparashvili got hauled off to jail after a dispute turned into a full-fledged dust-up at the medal ceremony, the Guardian of London reported.

Police say Azmaiparashvili head-butted one of them in the mouth when they tried to stop him from climbing onto the stage. Other witnesses say security guards jumped on him and wrestled him to the ground.

However, this isn't in dispute: Whatever happened happened at a chess tournament — the 36th annual Chess Olympiad in Calvia, Mallorca — and it ended with Azmaiparashvili, a World Chess Federation vice president, spending the night in the crossbar hotel.

"As often happens at chess tournaments," wrote Bob Reno of badjocks.com. "They then took his lunch money and gave him a going-away wedgie.

"OK, we made that last part up."

Thanks for masking

Still wondering about the identity of a few of those guys you saw out doorbelling on Halloween?

"The middle of the Cardinals' batting order went trick-or-treating dressed as the Invisible Men," reported Jim Armstrong of AOL Sports. "Me? I put on a cardigan, khakis and golf shoes.
 
"You know, an NHL player."

Option football

Fox's Terry Bradshaw set out to chart Peyton Manning's tendencies in this Q&A with the Indianapolis Colts quarterback:

Bradshaw: "Polite or honest?"

Manning: "Honest."

"Great kiss or great movie?"

"Great kiss."

"Ever had a kiss so great you've never forgotten about it?"

"Yeah, the first kiss with my wife."

"Are you being honest or polite?"

Bear essentials

Windy City politicians, despite protests by police and some community activists, are pushing a resolution to relax liquor laws by an hour on the Sabbath.

"Chicagoans will now be able to purchase mind-numbing intoxicants as early as 10 a.m. Sunday morning," wrote Randy Turner of the Winnipeg Free Press. "In a related story, the Chicago Bears play on Sunday."

Hoops-de-do

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, after Sports Illustrated labeled Toronto Raptors star Vince Carter "a cancer": "That might be a bit too severe. ... Carter strikes me as being more of a hemorrhoid."

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, on why the Miami Heat waived forward Tang Hamilton: "Apparently, he didn't fit into the mix."

Raising the bar

Hear the one about the strip-club owner who's such a college-football fanatic that he plans to name his next joint the BCS Club?

Two-thirds of his bottom line will be predicated on the coaches' and writers' poles.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com