Sideline Chatter
Grambling band picks bad time to face the music

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

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Nearly 20 years after Oklahoma's Sooner Schooner was penalized for going on the field in the Orange Bowl, Grambling State's Tiger Marching Band drew a football flag of its own.

It seems the band broke the rules by performing a song while Bethune-Cookman was executing a play during Saturday's game in Cincinnati. And it couldn't have come at a worse time, what with just 3:54 left to play, Grambling trailing 23-21 and B-C pinned in a third-and-14 situation at its 20-yard line. Despite giving up the gift first down, Grambling got the ball back with 1:22 to play and drove to Brian Morgan's winning 36-yard field goal with just 9 seconds left.

As Eric Handler of College Sports Television, which televised the game, told Sideline Chatter: "In college football, bands can't play while action is occurring on the field, unlike the NFL. The referee, miked for TV, actually said, 'Unsportsmanlike conduct on the band!' "

No word on whether the ref — under college football's new penalty-announcing protocol — delayed the game for 10 minutes while he publicly identified each and every one of the offending band members.

Who's on guard?

Richie Incognito, Nebraska's All-Big 12 center who will apparently transfer to Oregon, is a product of the ESPN era, but he would have been an even better fit for vaudeville.

"Boy, could Bud Abbott and Lou Costello have had fun with that name," wrote Larry Stewart of the Los Angeles Times.

"Costello: 'I can't tell who is playing center. Is he incognito?"

"Abbott: 'Yes, he is Incognito.' "
 
Pass the mustard

Heinz Ketchup is unveiling its "Say Something Ketchuppy" ad campaign, which includes testimonials from soccer star Mia Hamm ("Worthy as Gold") and ex-Steelers QB Terry Bradshaw ("Served at the Immaculate Reception").

The next inevitable step, we fear, is "The Official Heinz Two-Minute Drill" during every football broadcast. As in: "It's time to play ketchup ball!"

Talking the talk

• Brooks Melchior, of sportsbybrooks.com, on the news that Reebok is recalling 140,000 of its Allen Iverson toddler shoes because they might present a choking hazard: "Insert Olympic hoops joke here."

• NBC's Jay Leno, proposing an "Extreme Makeover at the Ballpark" reality-TV show: "You go to baseball game, you sit next to the Texas Rangers' bullpen, and they give you a nose job with a folding chair."

• Jim Armstrong of The Denver Post, wanting no part of the U.S. Ryder Cup team's historic 18½-9½ loss to Europe: "What's this 'we' stuff? ... Other than my Swedish bikini-model wife and nine-car garage, Tiger Woods and I don't have a thing in common."

Hitting for the cycle

Boston pitcher Curt Schilling is auctioning off a Harley Davidson motorcycle with Red Sox players' signatures on it to raise funds for ALS and melanoma research.

But read the fine print: Dent damage is not covered, and the performance guarantee conveniently excludes the month of October.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com