Sideline Chatter
Hung hangs as poster boy for Cardinals' success

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

William Hung is an inspiration to the Cardinals.

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The verdict is in on the St. Louis Cardinals' secret this season: They're a Hung jury.

As in William Hung, the "American Idol" misfit singer of "She Bangs" fame.

"We have a lot of him in the training room right now," pitcher Matt Morris, whose Cardinals own baseball's best record, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "Someone brought it in, and we got a kick out of it. Then we ended up going on a winning streak, and now we have to suffer through it every time we win.

"We even have his poster up, though I don't know if that should be out there. It may make us look a little wimpy."

Up in smoke

Good news for the Miami Dolphins, on their demand that running back Ricky Williams pay back $8 million in bonuses after he quit the team: Ricky's accountants can reportedly account for nearly all of it now — except for all those $100 bills he used as Zig-Zag papers.

Plenty in reserve

If Tiger Woods ever loses his hold on World's No. 1 Golfer, Dodgers manager Jim Tracy won't be the one taking it from him — not if two boxes of golf balls (144 per box) are any indication.

"Bench coach Jim Riggleman, noticing the two cases in Tracy's office, put notes on both," wrote Larry Stewart of the Los Angeles Times.
 
"The note on one box read, 'Front nine.'

"The note on the other read, 'Back nine.' "

Heads up

We don't like to keep carping on unfinished construction at the Athens Games, but here we are — halfway through this year's Olympics — and some of those Athenian statues still don't have the heads on them yet.

Replace that divot

Amy Mickelson, it turns out, has an array of shots to match those of her golfing husband, Phil, Seth Soffian of the Fort Myers (Fla.) News-Press reported.

During the PGA Tournament, Amy handed one of her children to Tiger Woods, then realized that wasn't hubby.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm still used to guys who can't win majors."

Talking the talk

• Fitness guru Jack LaLanne, to Reuters, on why he's still going strong at age 89: "I can't afford to die. It would hurt my image."

• Gary Patterson of the Contra Costa (Calif.) Times, looking on the bright side of the American men's 2-2 showing: "Nobody on the U.S. Olympic basketball team has demanded a trade. Yet."

Clothes horses

News flash: The IOC, taking notice of all that TV air play given to those scantily clad beach volleyball players, is expected to announce this morning that the horse-jumping competition will henceforth be known as "undressage."

Pickup game

The Charlotte Bobcats got a little too carried away when they unveiled their new uniforms Saturday, boasting theirs would be the only players in the league wearing orange on the road this year.

They obviously weren't counting the occasional hoosegow litter crew.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com