Sideline Chatter
Getting their kicks from Bingo

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Luiz Felipe Scolari, coach of Portugal's national soccer team, credits regular sessions of playing bingo for building team chemistry in preparation for the Euro 2004 finals.

"The locker room atmosphere is very good," Scolari told Agence France-Presse. "A few days ago all the players had fun playing bingo. Today, there will be another bingo with really good prizes.

"There is always a lot of craziness at these sessions; it helps create a really good environment."

Here's one added bonus to having players of bingo-loving age: No problems pruning the roster.

Letter rip, Howie

New sporting twist on an old story: The sixth-graders were taking turns in front of the room, regaling classmates with their adventures over winter vacation, when it came to Howie's turn.

Howie: "Our hockey team drove hundreds of miles to win a pee-wee tournament in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."

Teacher: "Very impressive, Howie. Do you think you could you spell that for the class?"

Howie: "Hmmm. Uh, teacher. Oh, yeah — the tournament was actually in Ohio."

The Lemons law
 
The benchwarmers on the Chicago Cubs have a team of their own, calling themselves the "Lemons."

"We know what team we're on," backup outfielder Tom Goodwin told MLB.com. "We know our rules. We play too much, it's 'bench me or trade me.' "

This shot connected

The Pacers' Ron Artest has hit just 29.7 percent of his field-goal attempts — and 4 of 24 three-pointers — against the Pistons in the Eastern Conference finals.

"The NBA fined Artest for making an obscene gesture but never specified the act," wrote Drew Sharp of the Detroit Free Press. "Was it his jump shot?"

Talking the talk

• Shaquille O'Neal, to Fox Sports Net, on the soap opera that is the L.A. Lakers: "We have to give y'all a show. This is the biggest reality show right here. We got to give it to y'all. That's why we get such high ratings."

• Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, on possible ramifications if New York is awarded the 2012 Olympic Games: "The IOC will alter the modern pentathlon to consist of spitting, loitering, running a red light, hailing a taxi in the rain and whistling at women."

• Mike Downey of the Chicago Tribune, on Mike Montgomery leaving Stanford to coach the NBA's downtrodden Golden State Warriors: "So much for the theory that everyone who leaves Stanford goes on to be a success."

Banking his turn

If what goes around comes around, car co-owner David Letterman is about to hear Indy 500 champ Buddy Rice deliver his "Top 10 Reasons Why I Deserve A Pay Raise."

— Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times