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Out-of-this-world marketing

	AP Mars: A sports planet.
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If you're looking for the next Bill "The Spaceman" Lee, chances are he'll be playing his Little League ball in northern Virginia.

That district asked for — and received — permission from Little League Baseball to add the planet Mars to its recruiting jurisdiction to spice up its recruiting pitch.

"It sounds soupy, but you never know what will get a kid charged up about something," Michael Pobat, the northern Virginia district administrator, told the Newport News (Va.) Daily Press. "If one or two kids get turned on to science because of this, great. If not, we still had a lot of fun with it."

Added Drew Nirenberg, a pitcher/shortstop for the Arlington Angels: "If there's ever a Little League team on Mars, we'll be playing them."

And it didn't take long to get a first response. Upon discovering he's still only 9 in Martian years, Danny Almonte reportedly applied for Little League reinstatement.

Mars, the sequel

Northern Virginia's claim is expected to stir up a territorial battle with Cincinnati, which has always been under the impression Mars was the Reds' planet.

How many miles again?

"Jessica Simpson is going to sing the national anthem at the Indianapolis 500," noted Elliott Harris of the Chicago Sun-Times, "provided she can figure out what town the auto race is in."

Them's fightin' words

Snippet from a Bob Costas Q&A with actor Denzel Washington on HBO:

Costas: "Who wins a fight — your Ruben Carter, as 'Hurricane' when you're in peak condition, or Robert DeNiro's Jake LaMotta in 'Raging Bull?' Who wins the fight?"

Washington: "Aw, man, are you serious? If we fought? I would win the fight. I've been boxing for a long time. I didn't just start boxing for the movie. I box still. I was in the gym the other day. I'm the heavier guy. I'd knock him out. No doubt in my mind I'd knock him out. I mean, I'm a boxer. I've been boxing for over 10 years now."

The write stuff

• Former Boston coach John Carroll, on the matchup problems created by the Indiana Pacers, who swept his Celtics by 16, 13, 17 and 15 points in their first-round playoff series: "It's like being in a boat with 20 holes and 10 plugs."

• Bill Scheft of Sports Illustrated, on the 4,000 no-shows for the Orlando Magic's Fan Appreciation Night: "Can't blame them. The biggest attraction was getting your X-ray taken with Grant Hill."

• Ted Wyman of the Winnipeg Sun, on Budweiser's contract to be the exclusive beer vendor at soccer's 2006 World Cup: "American beer in Germany? Is that in case they run out of water?"

• NBC's Jay Leno, after Dennis Rodman appeared on "The Tonight Show" plugging a sexual-enhancement product: "I'm not sure how it works, but judging by Dennis, I think the side effects are pink and green hair."

Order on the court

Well, duh: The NBA announced that the Lakers' Kobe Bryant has been named to this year's all-defense team.

The all-plaintiff team, we assume, comes out later this week.

— Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times

Copyright © 2004 The Seattle Times Company