Sideline Chatter
Black Hole next for Neuheisel?

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Here's a match made in petroleum heaven: Slick Rick and Oily Al.

Ex-Huskies coach Rick Neuheisel would be a perfect fit for the Oakland Raiders' head-coaching job, insists Gary Peterson, writing in the Contra Costa (Calif.) Times:

"Give this man an eye patch and he could be the cover boy for the Raiders' organizational handbook. He has bad-boy charisma, he is presumed to have football acumen he has never fully demonstrated, and he is, by all accounts, an unapologetic rule-breaker (having been canned by the University of Washington for participating in the odd neighborhood $25,000 winner-take-all NCAA basketball pool).

"As per Al Davis' hiring history, Neuheisel has no previous NFL head-coaching experience and few options, having been chased across most of the western United States by NCAA investigators.

"Infamous, marginally overrated and slightly desperate, he is the perfect candidate."

Cancel those Corn Nutts

Nebraska can vouch for it: Only a Nutt would turn down a $2 million-a-year job.

Stomach for the job

Why would Nick Saban say no to the NFL and stay at LSU? Just a gut feeling.

"When you recruit in Louisiana, everybody cooks," Saban told the Denver Post. "There are some great home visits that end up with some great meals. Those meals are second to none.

"I'm going to tell you what, boy, there's some good eating out there."

Here the kicker

Coming soon to video stores: "Bobby Bowden Remembers Miami: Shanks for the Memory."

Bookmaking II

Who says Pete Rose isn't a role model?

Raiders kicker Sebastian Janikowski — never convicted despite having been arrested and/or charged in three night-club incidents — just got the inspiration for a tell-all book of his own: "My Bars Without Prison."

Talking the talk

• Buffalo GM Tom Donahoe, to The Associated Press, on the beating that Bills QB Drew Bledsoe took this season: "He took more bullets than a 1930 Packard in one of those Al Capone movies."

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on Hall of Fame jockey Gary Stevens saying he wants to concentrate on acting: "Stevens will specialize in small roles."

• Karl Vogel of the Lincoln (Neb.) Journal-Star, on the inevitable next round of BCS tweaking: "It would surprise nobody if the Florida attorney general, a French figure-skating judge, Bud Selig and five Supreme Court justices were hired to protect the system's integrity."

• Broadcaster Mychal Thompson, to the Dallas Morning News, calling the Mavericks the Paris Hilton of the NBA: "They are good to look at, very rich and very pretty. But there's not a lot there."

From maim to fame

Nancy Kerrigan gets inducted into the U.S. Figure Skating Hall of Fame this week.

None of the well-wishers, we assume, will tell her to break a leg.

— Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times

Copyright © 2004 The Seattle Times Company