Sideline Chatter
He will do almost anything

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Forget Brett Favre. The Packer the Seahawks really ought to fear in Sunday's playoff game in Green Bay is guard/center Grey Ruegamer.

At least, would you want to get caught under a pile next to a guy who says he once extolled the virtues of spending a summer as a ranch hand in Montana castrating 1,400 sheep — with his teeth?

As Ruegamer told the Orlando Sentinel: "You get past the mental imagery."

But take heart, Seahawks D-linemen, and liberally sprinkle on some Ivar's oyster-bisque aftershave. There's one thing he won't bite.

"Seafood. It creeps me out."

Good cop, bad cop

Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, on the difference between 60-something coaches Dick Vermeil of the Kansas City Chiefs and Bill Parcells of the Dallas Cowboys:

• "Vermeil loves you to death; Parcells scares you to death.

• "Vermeil cries when he watches 'Brian's Song'; Parcells screams at missed tackles when he watches 'Brian's Song.'

• Vermeil is old school; Parcells is a one-room schoolhouse with no lunch break, no recess and no field trips."

Apple of coach's eye

Jim Jackson, playing for his 10th NBA team in eight seasons, seems to have finally found favor in Houston, where Rockets coach Jeff Van Gundy has made him a starter and calls him a team leader.

"Coach always compliments him," teammate Maurice Taylor told the Houston Chronicle. "And we kind of mess with him a little bit, because we say he's coach's pet.

"He don't like it too much, but hell, people in jail don't like being there. Some things you've just gotta live with."

No Sugarcoating it

Boxing writer Bert Sugar says he knows where all the top heavyweight prospects have gone.

"The heavyweight has gone north — as in, north of 250 pounds," he said during an Amateur Athletic Foundation online interview. "A kid who's 250 pounds and reasonably coordinated is better off being a football player. He gets a college scholarship, a signing bonus when he turns pro, a pension plan, all kinds of safety nets.

"A fighter gets his brains bashed in. Anyone with a quarter of a brain who thinks this out will choose football."

Talking the Talk

• T.J. Simers of the Los Angeles Times, with a holiday movie review: "Billy Bob Thornton wasn't a bad choice to play the bad Santa, but imagine the turnout in theaters if Bobby Knight had been given that part."

• Ron Bell of New Orleans, to The Associated Press, on the secret to becoming the Super Bowl of Electric Football's only three-time winner: "I know my players have no thoughts or emotions, but they don't know that."

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, on tennis stars Lleyton Hewitt and Kim Clijsters announcing their engagement: "Being a non-Olympic event, the bride will wear Fila."

Turning over a new Leif

The boys teams at Waverly (Neb.) High School are known as the Vikings, but not the girls' squads. No, they're the Viqueens.

With thinking like this, just be glad Waverly's boy mascot isn't the Bulls.

— Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times

Copyright © 2003 The Seattle Times Company