Columnists

Dog-eat-dog on the recruiting trail? No kidding.

Line prospect Curt DiGiacomo, hopelessly torn between signing with Arizona or San Jose State on letter-of-intent day back in 1983, had the decision made for him — by a four-legged friend.

"When Arizona offensive coordinator Steve Axman stopped by his house with scholarship papers in hand," wrote Joe Davidson of the Sacramento Bee, "the family dog bit the coach in the chest. DiGiacomo felt so guilty, he signed with Arizona that day."

Throw the books at 'em

The NCAA put Nebraska on two years' probation for improperly distributing nearly $28,000 in textbooks and other school supplies to athletes over a four-year period.

Of course, as anyone who's shopped in a college bookstore can attest, $28,000 only amounts to 10 or 15 textbooks.

This ought to be short

"They've figured out a way to make sure the Super Bowl pregame show won't last too long this year," noted comedy writer Tim Hunter. "Right before it starts, Kim Kardashian is going to marry it."

'Convenience fee' is extra

Among the top 10 questions to ask yourself before spending $16,000 on a Super Bowl ticket, from CBS's David Letterman:

• "Do they have anything in the more affordable $15,000 range?

• "Can I afford it after spending $12,000 on a Pro Bowl ticket?

• "Isn't this why the rest of the world hates us?"

Tee him up

Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle got ejected from Wednesday's game against the Thunder — and faces a possible fine — after he booted a basketball wide right of the ref and into the crowd.

On the bright side, though, he's already been offered a placekicking tryout with the Baltimore Ravens.

Roman holiday

This is the first Super Bowl appearance for Pats receiver Chad Ochocinco.

Or as he prefers to be called this weekend, Chad LXXXV.

Quote marks

• Patriots QB Tom Brady, at Super Bowl media day, on growing up with three sisters: "They dressed me up a few times in their clothes and painted my nails once, but it was nice."

• NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on Americans expected to eat 450 million chicken wings on Super Bowl Sunday: "Or as Thanksgiving turkeys put it, 'Who's laughing now, chickens?' "

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on reports that diva receiver DeSean Jackson might be a 49ers free-agent target: "Sure, then sign Terrell Owens as the wide-receiver and life coach."

Easy on the ice, please

In Apple Valley, Minn., police arrested a man at the local rink on suspicion of DUI — while driving a Zamboni.

No wonder his eyes looked a little glazed over.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com