Once again, the bulls have an Artest on their roster

Hear about the angry bull that jumped into the stands during a Spanish bullfight last week?

Apparently a fan in a Pistons jersey tossed a beer on him.

Misters & misses

Bob Uecker: Mr. Baseball.

Ernie Banks: Mr. Cub.

Reggie Jackson: Mr. October.

Roger Clemens: Misremember.

Noose flash

The toughest word to solve in a game of Hangman, according to computer analysis by Jon McLoone of Wolfram Research, is "jazz."

Though Pittsburgh Pirates players, we hear, still get stumped on "win."

Naked Bootleg Dept.

Lingerie Football League defenses have no peers, grid purists say, when it comes to underneath coverage.

Getting some ink

So the light-hitting Mariners lit up Yankees pitcher A.J. Burnett to the tune of six runs, 12 hits and a .387 batting average in seven innings Friday?

From the looks of Burnett's arms and his 4.80 ERA, though, he's used to being tattooed.

Quick takes

Some sports offerings from the new book "Four Word Film Reviews":

• Field of Dreams: "Everybody loves Ray's mound."

• Kung Fu Panda: "Fists of Furry."

• Rocky Balboa: "Aging Bull."

• Gladiator: "Aussie and chariot."

He's a fall guy

Just like clockwork, the swallows return to Capistrano and a certain waffling diva returns to the NFL.

Noted comedian Argus Hamilton: "In Los Angeles, where the weather never changes, we use Brett Favre to tell the seasons apart."

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com, on the Red Sox's broken-down outfielder: "Jacoby Ellsbury to be sold for parts."

• At TheOnion.com: "Ochocinco, Owens preparing touchdown-celebration opera."

Talko time

• Brenda Warner, to the Arizona Republic, envisioning Denzel Washington playing the lead role in a movie chronicling her Super Bowl-winning husband Kurt: "It would probably challenge Denzel in ways he's never been challenged before."

• Edmonton Oilers wing Dustin Penner, to The Sporting News, on his favorite physical attribute: "My new teeth."

• Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on reports that marijuana growers in western Canada are using bears to protect their illegal crops: "Suddenly, Smokey seems very, very cool."

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on San Francisco losing running back Glen Coffee to the ministry: "This has led some fans to think the 49ers don't have a prayer."

Beach bawl

The cash-strapped Association of Volleyball Professionals has canceled the remainder of its 2010 beach season.

That's one league that can't blame its demise on lack of coverage.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com