Life's not too hard for Rory McIlroy

What, you think it's easy being golf phenom Rory McIlroy?

"What's he got going for him?" rival Lee Westwood emphathized to The Associated Press. "Twenty years old. Millionaire already. Hits it miles. Nice-looking girlfriend. Drives a Lamborghini.

"Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?"

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Pittsburgh School District leads nation in ability to spell 'Roethlisberger.' "

• At SportsPickle.com: "New Jersey moves Nets to Brooklyn."

• At Fark.com: "It was Mrs. Woods, in the driveway, with the golf club."

Not bowled over

Need another reason to loathe college football's so-called postseason?

"Not to pick on Wyoming," wrote David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, "but only to use the Cowboys as an example: The team that lost by 31 to Texas, by 24 to Colorado, bowl eligible." by 52 to BYU, and by 35 to TCU ... is

No Answer in sight

Looks like it might be unanimous: All 30 NBA coaches say Allen Iverson really ought to be signed — by some other team.

That's great

Three facts about Florida QB Tim Tebow you might not be aware of, courtesy of Tidefans.com:

• "People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.

• "The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.

• "When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help."

Driving

No, Jim-Bob, this isn't your daddy's Southern-fried NASCAR.

The top 10 drivers in this year's Sprint Car Series include three Hoosiers (Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart and Ryan Newman), two Washingtonians (Greg Biffle and Kasey Kahne), a Californian (Jimmie Johnson), a Nevadan (Kurt Busch) and a Colombian (Juan Montoya).

Bull Run, the sequel

Stephen-Argyle High School won the Minnesota nine-man football championship by racking up a Prep Bowl-record 569 yards on 88 rushes — none bigger than an 8-yard rumble on a fake punt by Robbie Pietruszewski, a 5-foot-10, 274-pound lineman.

The play, aptly enough, is called Elephant Left.

Talking the talk

• Montreal defenseman Josh Gorges, to Canadiens.com, on his skirmish at practice with teammate Mike Cammalleri: "I don't know who started it, but I remember I called him ugly and he got pretty upset, so he called me fat."

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on reports that corpulent Kansas football coach Mark Mangino threatened to send a player back to the ghetto: "Maybe he should consider sending himself back to the salad bar."

• Dan Daly of the Washington Times, after a sideline expletive uttered by Broncos coach Josh McDaniels hit the Thanksgiving Day airwaves: "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for the NFL Network to have closed captioning."

• Fox announcer Ron Pitts, after Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck ran 19 yards uncontested around left end, courtesy of a nifty bootleg fake: "There are 10 jockstraps on the ground, and they all belong to the Rams."

Clothing the deal

"The Mets just got some new duds for next season" refers to:

a) a retro-uniform option for home games;

b) the team's latest batch of free-agent signings.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com