Have you seen "There's Something About Manny?"

The best plot line for a sports movie about 2009 will be:

a) November baseball: "Swinging in the Rain."

b) NFL collapses: "Dismember the Titans."

c) Guys using female fertility drugs: "There's Something About Manny."

Beauty is a beast

Miss England Rachel Cristie, an Olympic heptathlete hopeful, was stripped of her beauty crown for getting into a bar fight.

On the bright side, noted Brad Dickson in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, "She did make history as the first woman photographed holding a broken beer bottle while saying her main goal is world peace."

Truth in advertising

A Chinese man is auctioning off 5,000 condoms — the ones left over from the 100,000 distributed to athletes at the 2008 Olympics — but no need for a certificate of authenticity.

As the BBC reported, "Each condom wrapper carries the motto of the Beijing Games — faster, higher, stronger — in English and Chinese."

Sports quiz II

"The Fire Starters" is the catchy nickname for:

a) The cheer squad for the MLS's Chicago Fire.

b) Milton Bradley's clubhouse antics.

c) The Baltimore Orioles' bullpen.

That's the ticket

Among the top 10 questions to ask yourself before paying $24,900 for a World Series ticket, from CBS's David Letterman:

• "Does it include parking?

• "Will I be stuck all night making awkward small talk with Kate Hudson?

• "Do I still get to sit behind drunk, shirtless fat guys?

• "Is this a ticket for Game 8?"

Don't be so modest

"Quite modest of Nancy Lieberman to compare her stab at coaching a men's minor-league basketball team to Barack Obama breaking the White House color barrier," wrote Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot. "But then, Nancy has always been the shy, retiring type."

Small talk

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Shaquille O'Neal proclaimed himself and Cavs teammate Zydrunas Ilgauskas as the best centers in the NBA: "Well, maybe for those playing the sports edition of Scrabble."

• Headline at TheOnion.com: "Reuters enthusiast Cole Aldrich left off Associated Press All-America team."

• Calgary blogger RJ Currie, not buying Andre Agassi's claim that hairpiece anxiety foiled him in the 1990 French Open final: "He lost because he was afraid of having the rug pulled out from over him?"

Hoofing it

Alex Rodriguez pocketed another $400,000 last week when he:

a) Helped his Yankees win the World Series.

b) Saddled the winning centaur in the Breeders' Cup.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com