Sideline Chatter: This bat is juiced — with batteries

Anyone up for a little Batthoven in B minor?

Glenn Donnellan, a violinist with the National Symphony Orchestra, played the national anthem at Saturday's Nationals game — on a Derek Jeter-model baseball bat he retrofitted a while back.

"They asked me to play the electric violin for a young person's concert in Arkansas," Donnellan, 39, told the Washington Times. "There wasn't an electric violin available, so I tried to make one. A bat was something that came to mind that was halfway toward a violin.

"Once I got the bat and looked at it, I didn't really need to change anything. I haven't changed anything on the bat except for punching holes in it with drills."

A YouTube video of Donnellan's handiwork has attracted more than 150,000 viewers since July 1.

Pulling guard

Among the Seahawks' offseason signings: offensive lineman Grey Ruegamer, renowned for once lining up a summer job neutering sheep — with his teeth.

Added bonus: He can't wait to play against the Rams.

Fish bone to pick

No, Cubs manager Lou Piniella wasn't amused when a goat was paraded in front of his team's dugout during a recent game in Miami.

"When we come here, they always have some gimmick," Piniella told the Palm Beach Post. "I don't know who dreams up these things. When they come to our place in Chicago, we don't have fried marlin."

Soccer to 'em

Real Madrid 5, FC Toronto 1. Anyone surprised?

"Real Madrid is soccer royalty," wrote Bill Lankhof of the Toronto Sun. "It has 1,800 fan clubs and amassed more titles than any football club on earth.

"Toronto FC are like your kid's Timbits team — the only award they've gotten in MLS history reads 'Participant.' "

The write stuff

• David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, after the Rangers released pitcher Vicente Padilla, tied for the major-league lead with 49 hit batters over the past three seasons: "Would the Cash for Clunkers program cover a used pitcher who has trouble steering his pitches?"

• Glenn Donnellan, to AP, on his bat violin's safety features: "I'm all battery operated, so if it rains, I won't fry."

• Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett, on Twitter, describing the snoring of training-camp roommate Orlando Scandrick: "Like a fat kid laying on top of a grizzly bear hibernating in the summer under water."

• Mark Medina of the L.A. Times, on Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo's ex, choosing "Fancy Love" as the name of her new line of perfume: "We assume names such as 'Yoko Romo' and 'Botched Snap' didn't make the cut."

That's a slap shot

Ex-Laker Kurt Rambis, the basketball-playing Hanson brother, will be the next coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves, owner Glen Taylor told the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

So, when's Puffy Nose and Taped Glasses Night?

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com