Sideline Chatter: The grand slam for professional sports

Guess she should've blocked a few shots after the game, too.

Phoenix Mercury star Diana Taurasi was cited for drunken driving at 2:30 a.m. Thursday, just a few hours after being credited with 25 points and four blocks in a win over Seattle.

On the bright side, WNBA spinmeisters say, the league is now just a steroid scandal, a dogfighting conviction and a maternity suit shy of hitting the big time.

Sultans of swat

Thurday's Padres-Astros game in San Diego was delayed for 52 minutes in the ninth inning while beekeepers removed a huge swarm that bivouacked in left field.

Both teams, to a man, said the sight of bees is definitely more terrifying than Nats.

Headlines

• In the Prince George (B.C.) Free Press, after the hometown Cougars made forward Jaroslav Vlach their first-round pick in the Canadian Hockey League draft: "Czech, please."

• At SportsPickle.com: "Chinese scientists hurrying development of Yao Ming 2.0."

The Dating Game

Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey, facing the likelihood of playing next season without rehabbing Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady, was camped out on Marcin Gortat's doorstep in Orlando last Wednesday in a futile attempt to woo the Magic free-agent center at the first possible second — one minute after midnight.

"It's an approach that would seem more fitting if Morey were looking for a prom date rather than a post player," wrote Lorne Chan of the San Antonio Express-News, "but there's nothing wrong with his desperation."

Family Picnic Dept.

Serena over Venus in another all-Williams final? Maybe they should just rename it Williamsdon.

That's your bald game

The Minnesota Twins, moving from the Metrodome into a new stadium next season, will spruce up their Oct. 4 season finale by introducing their "All-Dome Team."

Those who say Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew isn't qualified to be an All-Domer obviously never saw him take off his baseball cap.

The write stuff

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the possible successor to waterboarding: "Would it be torture to make these captives watch — on a continuing basis — reruns of ESPN's 'Cold Pizza'?"

• Redskins fan, as reported in the Washington Post reports, razzing Cowboys QB Tony Romo before a tee shot at the AT&T National Pro-Am: "Hit it like it's December."

• AP's Bernie Wilson, after Thursday's bee-swarm delay at Petco Field: "It certainly gave a new meaning to 'getaway day'."

• Bruce Dowbiggin of The Globe and Mail, after the Ottawa Senators' Dany Heatley demanded to be traded — and then invoked his no-trade clause: "Is this not like subscribing to eHarmony then refusing to date?"

Snitch on the pitch

Gheorghe "Gica" Popescu, 41, a former captain of Romania's national soccer team, admitted to newspaper Evenimentul Zilei that he was once an informer for dictator Nicolae Ceausescu's secret police in the late 1980s.

In other words, his ultimate kick was a double-cross.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com