Jason Smith loves getting clean hits

Don't even think about calling Jason Smith a dirty player.

The 6-foot-5, 309-pound tackle, taken second in this year's NFL draft by the St. Louis Rams, insists he's so tidy that he gives each dish a complete washing before putting it in the dishwasher.

"I'm very neat," he told the Los Angeles Times. "If I threw out some trash, I'd probably have it stacked first.

"I'm every woman's dream."

Bucked off again

Florida State 37, Ohio State 6?

Looks like the NCAA tried to stage a baseball regional — and the BCS title game broke out.

Sports quiz

"I just hit a bad slice" was the likely excuse for:

a) Charles Barkley, after his latest tee shot into the trees.

b) Joey Chestnut, after narrowly losing Sunday's pizza-eating contest.

Death, taxes, Clippers

Jay Leno, moving to a 10 p.m. time slot on NBC after nearly two decades at 11:30, signed off on his final "Tonight Show" last Friday.

"When I started this show, my hair was black and the president was white," he told his audience. "You know the only thing that hasn't changed in 17 years? The Clippers still suck."

Green with envy

The NFL's Jets and Giants are planning to build the most environmentally friendly stadium in history, and let's just say they've sorted out every possible detail.

Not only are they installing waterless urinals — saving an estimated 2.7 million gallons of water a year — but all mob corpses buried in the stadium foundation must be interred in recycled concrete.

Tail of the tape

Remington, a Clydesdale from Princeton, Texas, is about to be measured from hoof to shoulder to see if he surpasses the 6-foot-7 ½ height of the world's tallest living horse, The Dallas Morning News reported.

But forget the Guinness World Record; he just wants to be this year's No. 1 draft pick in donkey basketball.

Don't go away mad

LeBron James, angered when the Magic ousted his favored Cavaliers from the NBA playoffs, raised some eyebrows when he skipped the traditional postgame player handshakes and mandatory news conference.

Apparently we were all witnesses to a hostile witness.

The write stuff

• Ryan Dempster, to the Chicago Tribune, on the Cubs removing the Gatorade dispenser from the dugout after he and fellow pitcher Carlos Zambrano attacked it in fits of rage: "I'm going to miss it. It's part of our team. I gave it a big hug."

• Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News, on golfers anticipating another bruising U.S. Open: "This year, it's at Bethpage Black and Blue."

• Serena Williams, to the L.A. Times, on why women's tennis has it all over the men's game: "There's no comparison. I mean, it's way cattier, so it's way more exciting to watch."

Soccer to me

Newest adviser to the club president of Real Madrid: former French star Zinedine Zidane.

Something tells us they'll be butting heads.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com