On offense, he is known for his body shot

Have goon, will travel?

Let's just say that Heat coach Stan Van Gundy isn't a big fan of Magic center Jamaal Magliore's defensive tactics.

"He's like the guys in hockey who can't skate, but have one role," Van Gundy told AP. "His role is to beat the hell out of people."

He's up for the game

"Most unusual line from Friday's Cotton Bowl came courtesy of Fox analyst Brian Baldinger in discussing the Mississippi quarterback's proclivity to overthrow receivers," noted Barry Horn of the Dallas Morning News. " 'When Jevan Snead misses early in games, it's usually because he is high.'

"That was followed by several seconds of silence courtesy of Pat Summerall."

Take that, BCS

Here's one way to give impetus to a much-needed playoff system for college football, in just five words:

Utah Utes, AP national champions.

Jacques be nimble

Jacques Rogge, head of the International Olympic Committee, earned a mention as Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle listed the sports knuckleheads of 2008.

"Now there's a no-nonsense sports leader," Ostler wrote. "At the Olympics in Beijing, hammer throwers and weight lifters were doping, horses were doping and underage Chinese gymnasts were winning gold medals, so Rogge sprung into action: He chastised Usain Bolt for being a hot dog."

Hit the pool

Spare the rod, spoil the swimmer?

"Swimming hard can feel like being beaten by a stick," said University of New Brunswick swimmer Natalie Doucette, sharing her favorite motivational tip with the Fredericton Daily Gleaner. "Would you rather get hit for 30 seconds or 29 seconds?"

Poor man's Trump

The Jets, stinging from a late collapse, jettisoned coach Eric Mangini last week.

And just to prove they weren't kidding, they brought in Plaxico Burress to do the firing.

Talko time

• Cubs Hall of Famer Billy Williams, to AP, on the NHL's Wrigley experience: "When they first mentioned it to me, it sounded like something somebody thought up after too many beers. But you know what? It was a damn-near perfect place to put down a hockey game."

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, putting the Red Wings' 6-3 win at Wrigley in perspective: "The Wings have now won more games outdoors this season than the Lions have."

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, on sidelined Pats QB Tom Brady: "Where was he this season when his team was playing? (I think we all have a similar theory on that.)"

• Headline at ESPN.com, on unbeaten Utah's wire-to-wire win over favored Alabama: "Sugar high."

The big alley

Maybe the world's biggest bowling alley has been built in Aichi, Japan — a whopping 116 lanes.

As an added plus, think of the exercise you'll get trying to locate the perfect house ball.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com