Take care, hunters: The buck may not stop here

Who knew deer hunting was a best-of-three sport?

Randy Goodman got quite a surprise in the Ozarks when a nine-point, 240-pound buck he thought he'd killed with two shots sprang to its feet and worked the man over with its headgear before bolting 30 yards and falling over a fence.

A bloodied Goodman staggered back to his rifle, finished off the deer with two more shots and then rushed to an emergency room, where he was treated for scalp wounds (nine staples' worth), a slight concussion and bruises.

"I learned a valuable lesson," Goodman, 47, told his hometown Sedalia (Mo.) Democrat. "If you don't think they're dead, you might want to shoot them again."

Does not compute

" 'Britney Spears' were the most-searched words of the year on Yahoo!" noted ABC's Jimmy Kimmel, "followed by 'World Wrestling Federation,' and in third place, 'Barack Obama.'

"I think the lesson here is that Americans are not responsible enough to be using computers."

Defensive stand

Lawyers for Plaxico Burress, holding up his nightclub pants as Exhibit A, say prosecutors should pick up the penalty flag because the gun went off outside the pocket.

Gut-check time

The NBA, with some nice Christmas Day scheduling, will give its TV viewers a Spurs-Suns game this year.

Or, as Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News put it: "It's always a holiday treat to see Shaq's belly shake like a bowl full of jelly."

Working like a dog

Pistons guard Richard Hamilton credits offseason running with his two pit bulls for being in such good shape.

"If you let dogs outside after they've been in the house all day, the first thing they want to do is take off," Hamilton told USA Today. "So I get out of the house and take off with them and run till they quit.

"And if you know anything about dogs, they don't quit for a long time."

No. 1 with a bullet

"Did you hear about the new Plaxico Burress cocktail?" asked Times reader Janice Hough. "Just one very expensive shot."

Writers' bloc

• David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on track and field reducing the modern pentathlon from five events to four: "I guess we now have the ultramodern pentathlon."

• Headline at TheOnion.com: "Cubs, absence from World Series agree to 4-year extension."

• NBC's Jay Leno, on financially strapped General Motors discontinuing its endorsement deal with Tiger Woods: "Although they were able to sign John Daly for a 12-pack and a plate of chicken wings."

Dollars and scents

Masik Collegiate Fragrances has come out with an official Penn State perfume and cologne, with a fragrance based on campus flowers and trees.

University of Colorado chemists, not to be outdone, are already feverishly at work to bottle a distinctive smell of their own, to be called Ralphie Lauren.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com