One license works for driving and hunting

What, you think the hunting's easy in critter-rich Canada?

"It's amazing how wildlife — be it fish, birds or larger game — can disappear when you're actually seeking it," Chris Istace wrote in the Moosomin (Sask.) World-Spectator. "When you're not, they seem to come out of everywhere and nowhere at once.

"If we hunted with the bumpers of our cars, we'd all tag out in minutes."

Speaking of which ...

"The Regina Pats' bus, on its way home from Flin Flon, hit a moose on a cold winter night," wrote Gregg Drinnan of the Kamloops (B.C.) Daily News, recalling one of his favorite hockey stories.

"The driver had the players move their gear from the luggage bunks underneath and help him stuff the moose in there to keep it cold."

So that's what's meant by the meat of the schedule.

Pass the tryptophan

Let's just say that Mike Ditka isn't a big fan of letting the hapless Lions host a Thanksgiving Day game every year.

"We need to put two teams on every Thanksgiving who are competitive," Da Bear huffed on ESPN. "We all stuff a turkey on Thanksgiving. That doesn't mean you have to stuff that turkey down our throats."

That's a rap for JoePa

Hear the news about Penn State coach Joe Paterno, 81, getting a hip implant?

It took so well, in fact, he came out of anesthesia flashing gang signs and muttering about street cred.

The tooth hurts

Eagles coach Andy Reid benched a healthy Donovan McNabb for the first time ever and played backup QB Kevin Kolb in the second half of a 36-7 pasting by the Ravens.

Kolb had the better numbers, in terms of passing yards (73-59), fewer turnovers (2 to 3) and passer rating (15.3 to 13.2), but as Bob Brookover of the Philadelphia Inquirer pointed out, "That's like saying the winner of the local beauty pageant really stood out because she wasn't missing all her teeth."

Rebuff that

birthday suit

Police in Boulder, Colo., ticketed about a dozen people running naked with hollowed-out pumpkins on their heads during the city's annual Halloween celebration and cited them for indecent exposure.

And if you don't think that's humiliating enough, imagine the poor guy who gets the charges dropped for lack of evidence.

Writers' bloc

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on the opinion that Gators quarterback Tim Tebow should turn pro a year early: "According to a panel of college coaches who happen to be Florida's 2009 opponents."

• Dan Daly of the Washington Times, after Pat Knight's Texas Tech basketball team rang up 167 points against outmanned East Central: "Just wondering: Is there any chance Pat is really Paul Westhead's love child?"

• Headline in the San Diego Union-Tribune, on San Diego State cashiering football coach Chuck Long just 36 days after saying he'd be back next season: "Long gone."

• Bill Lankhof of the Toronto Sun, on this year's CFL title-game host: "Montreal is Canada's party town — think New Orleans with earmuffs."

Some Huskies mush

The University of Washington athletic department, in bad need of a pick-me-up with its flagship football team reeling at 0-11, got some good news Monday when the women's team won the school's first NCAA cross country championship.

Who says the Huskies can't get a running game going?

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com