The Apple Cup upside: A state team will win

If Saturday's woeful Washington-Washington State game produces a touchdown dance, it ought to be the Kan-Kan.

As in Kansas vs. Kansas State, 1987-88.

"The contests were unofficially — and accurately — labeled Toilet Bowls I and II," wrote Gaylon Krizak of the San Antonio Express-News. "The 1987 version ended in a 17-17 tie, actually improving both teams' winning percentage — the Jayhawks wound up 1-9-1, the Wildcats 0-10-1.

"A year later, Kansas' 30-12 victory raised the teams' combined victory total for the season to ... one."

Form a punch line

Paulie Malignaggi isn't worried that Ricky Hatton has cooked up a surprise strategy for their junior welterweight championship fight in Las Vegas on Saturday.

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face," Malignaggi told SportingLife.com. "He'll use his plan until I punch him in his."

Whiff pleasure

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, who helped a stranded couple change a flat tire earlier this year, took a homeless man named Doc to see the movie "Role Model," the Dallas Morning News reported.

Romo's response when Doc noted he hadn't showered in days: "Don't worry about that. I'm used to locker rooms."

Pretty sharp eye

WBA champ Celestino Caballero derided IBF counterpart Steve Molitor as a "pretty boy" before their super bantamweight title fight tonight in Toronto, but no offense taken.

"We know one thing," Molitor told the Toronto Sun. "Caballero's eyesight is bang-on."

News flash

Dateline, Oakland: Jim Fassel says he'd like to work for Al Fossil — er, coach the Raiders.

Aired out

Pahranagat Valley High School didn't play much pass defense — allowing 490 aerial yards and 10 touchdown passes — in its Nevada Class 1A state semifinal game, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported.

Picky, picky. The Panthers won by 54 points, 128-74.

Talking the talk

• Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, after Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones was reinstated by the NFL after a stint in an alcohol treatment center: "PacRat doesn't have a drinking problem. He's got a stupid problem. You can't rehab stupid, OK?"

• Headline at Fark.com: "Pacman gets 10,000 points, another life."

• Mike Finger of the San Antonio Express-News, on Jazz forward Carlos Boozer (27) and former "Family Feud" host Richard Dawson (76) sharing the same Nov. 20 birthday: "Celebrate by dunking viciously over someone's head, then kissing him on the cheek."

• Headline at SportsPickle.com: "Players-only meeting spent discussing whether to admit kicker and punter."

Cheek to cheek

Three Catania players lined up in a wall and dropped their shorts to obscure the opposing goalkeeper's view on a successful free kick in a 3-2 win over Italian League rival Torino.

It happened in Serie A? Soccer purists would've guessed the Bundesliga.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com