You won't find change under these sofas

Got a couch potato on your holiday list? Here's a gift to die for.

A Southern California company, CoffinCouches.com, creates $3,500 padded sofas out of recycled steel coffins, including a custom-colored Dodgers model.

And as one satisfied customer put it, seeing is bereaving.

Paging Marty McFly

Remember that non-foul call on a Brent Barry shot attempt — one that even the NBA declared a botched call — that helped grease the Spurs' playoff exit against the Lakers last season? No problem.

"I've got Doc Brown out front with the DeLorean," Barry, now with the Rockets, told the San Antonio Express-News after that game. "We're going to fire up the flux capacitors, go back in time and shoot a couple of free throws."

Pass the gravy

After watching Kurt Warner's quick carving of the Seahawks on Sunday — hitting 18 of his first 20 throws — any doubt who slices the Thanksgiving turkey in the Warner household?

Rickety Rocky

Ring geezer Evander Holyfield, 46, seeking to become history's oldest heavyweight champion, takes on champion Nikolai Valuev, the 7-foot Russian, in Zurich, Switzerland next month.

"About 20 of Holyfield's children tried to talk him out of this insane fight plan," noted Ted Wyman of the Winnipeg Sun, "but they must have been speaking into the ear Mike Tyson chomped off."

Political football

George Perles, the former Michigan State football coach, might be a candidate for Michigan governor in 2010.

Veteran Perles watchers, after looking over a quickie scouting report, predict he'll run to the left.

Somebody's perfect

The visiting Titans rallied from a 14-3 halftime deficit to beat the Jaguars 24-14 on Sunday and improve their record to a perfect 10-0.

The day's most awkward moment? The congratulatory postgame phone call from Bo Derek.

Just sayin'

• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on Florida's 56-6 pasting of South Carolina on Saturday: "Seeing [Steve] Spurrier coming back to The Swamp and getting clobbered was like watching an aging [Frank] Sinatra returning to the Sands and forgetting the words to 'My Way.' "

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on NFL quarterbacks who get kudos for the way they "manage" a game: "Talk about a backhanded compliment. It's a euphemism for 'a guy I don't want on my fantasy team.' "

• Dan Daly of The Washington Times, on the WNBA Mystics' latest coaching hire — the team's 11th in 11 years: "Just call her Julie 'Walk the' Plank."

• Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew, to L.A.'s KLAA Radio, on the difference between his days at UCLA and life in the pros: "In L.A. you have the high life and Hollywood. In Jacksonville, you have alligators."

Apple slosh

With Washington's 0-10 football team visiting 1-10 Washington State on Saturday, this year's Apple Cup participants boast their biggest loss total ever.

In a fitting start to Apple Cup week, one team threw its record out the window — and the other dropped a sure interception.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com