Right on the kisser: Is Ralph Kramden his boxing coach?

He gave out a licking, and then he got one.

Trenton Titsworth, a junior welterweight from Omaha, Neb., incurred a one-point deduction for kissing his opponent's neck and licking him on the face when they fought on an HBO undercard Oct. 4 in Temecula, Calif.

Jesse Vargas went on to win by unanimous decision — and no doubt gave thanks that it wasn't Mike Tyson nibbling on his ear.

And MVP, to boot

From the Well, Duh File comes word that Pele is the Great Northwest Athletic Conference soccer player of the year.

OK, Western Washington University midfielder Matt Pele.

He's no Eli Wallop

Giants QB Eli Manning didn't get many rave reviews for his attempted tackle of Eagles defensive tackle Mike Patterson after throwing a first-quarter interception.

"It looked like a grandma trying to wrangle her purse away from a purse-snatcher," Giants center Shaun O'Hara told The Associated Press. "Of course you don't want your quarterback to be a very good tackler because that means he has probably been doing it too much, but yeah, he got a D for effort."

Flaw of averages

Orlando Magic swingman Mickael Pietrus is the consummate NBA player. He stands 6 feet 6 (NBA average is 6 feet 6.88), weighs 215 pounds (218.52), turns 27 in February (26.85) and has played five full NBA seasons (4.74).

Just one problem, noted Gary Loewen of the Toronto Sun: "He is also from Guadalupe."

Two B's in a 'Pod

A reporter called LeBron James' bluff when the Cavs star claimed he listened to Barry Manilow tunes like Carmelo Anthony does.

"Let's see," said James, scanning his iPod. "... Nope. No Brian Manilow."

When the room erupted in laughter, AP's Tom Withers reported, James corrected his error.

"Oh, Barry Manilow. I was talking about his cousin."

Thanks a lot

"What do Lions fans have to look forward to this month?" mused Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press. "For one thing, a marquee Thanksgiving matchup between the Lions and the Tennessee Titans, who very well could be 0-11 and 11-0, respectively.

"Stay the course, pilgrims."

Talko time

• Kim Kardashian, to FSN, on what it's like being Reggie Bush's girlfriend at a Saints game: "I watch the big guys try to smoosh him. Then they ask for my sister's phone number."

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Tim Lincecum winning the NL Cy Young Award for a Giants team that finished 18 games under .500: "Amazingly, he did it without the benefit of pitching against the Giants."

• Jerry Greene of the Orlando Sentinel, on the just-concluded World Series of Poker: "There's something wrong when the poker season is longer than the NBA season."

• Charles Barkley, not impressed when TNT co-host Ernie Johnson claimed the Warriors are better than the Mavericks: "You get two ugly girls together, it doesn't matter which one you go out with."

• Bills tackle Langston Walker, to the Buffalo News, when asked if a three-game losing streak had a sobering effect on the team: "I didn't think we were drunk."

Goose, goose, duck

In a new twist on an old soccer theme, players at Manchester United's practice facility are complaining about someone else's diving and marking tactics — in this case, Canada geese.

Sounds like the team could use a good sweeper.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays in The Seattle Times. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com