He's off to join his friends in high places

Gil Stratton, who died Saturday of heart failure, packed a lot into his 86 years.

He was a Southern California sports broadcaster, an actor from Broadway to films, and even a baseball umpire.

"There aren't many renaissance men in any age, but Gil was one of them," MSNBC's Keith Olbermann, a former co-worker, told the Los Angeles Times via e-mail. "He knew everybody and everything and seemed to delight in them all."

Well, almost everything.

"In '56 or '57," Olbermann wrote, "he had it on the highest authority that the Dodgers would not be moving to L.A. ... In fact he told his viewers on KNXT that if the Dodgers did move to L.A., he'd jump off the end of the Santa Monica pier.

"They did, and so he did."

Hold your horses

The biggest impediment to winning this year's Breeders' Cup has been:

a) the leg injury to Derby champ Big Brown

b) possible jail time for baby-maker Travis Henry

It's not Hooterville

Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson isn't worried about defenseman Luke Schenn, his prize 18-year-old rookie from the prairie city of Saskatoon, getting homesick while he's holed up alone in his Toronto hotel room.

As Wilson told CanWest News: "We'll make sure he gets plenty of DVDs of 'Green Acres' and maybe 'The Beverly Hillbillies' and shows like that, and he'll be fine."

Non-mellow yellow

Arizona safety Adrian Wilson was whistled for 17 personal-foul penalties from 2001 to 2007, the most in the NFL, the Washington Times reported.

In a break from the traditional jersey-retiring ceremony, the Cardinals will reportedly hoist a large yellow flag with a 15 on it.

PC does it

Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel isn't a big fan of the "Red River Shootout" — the annual Texas-Oklahoma football game — being renamed the "Red River Rivalry."

"These annoying thought police have gotten so out of hand," he wrote, "that pretty soon they'll rewrite the history books and start calling it 'The Misunderstanding at the O.K. Corral.' "

Shell fill-up

Game wardens near San Diego busted Binh Quang Chau for poaching six live lobsters — in his pants.

But no, he won't plead insanity: Lobsters there don't have pincers.

The write stuff

• Elliott Harris of the Chicago Sun-Times, after Jose Canseco was caught trying to re-enter the U.S. from Mexico with a banned fertility drug: "Civilized society can only hope the drugs were not for his personal use."

• Cornerback Champ Bailey, to the Denver Post, summing up his Broncos' defensive problems: "We haven't done well against the pass all year ... and we haven't done well against the run, either."

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on the 12 finalists in a national college Mascot of the Year competition: "Shut out for no apparent reason: Stanford's Tree and Cal's Chainsaw."

No. 1 training tip

WBC heavyweight champ Vitali Klitschko says he wraps his fists in his infant son's urine-filled diapers to keep the swelling down.

"Baby wee is good," he told Germany's Bild magazine, "because it's pure, doesn't contain toxins and doesn't smell."

Can't wait to see his next puffy nose.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com