If the rod fits, fish with it

Clay Dyer, born with no limbs except a partial right arm, is a professional angler renowned for his persuasiveness.

"I try to sweet-talk [the bass] into biting," Dyer, 30, of Hamilton, Ala., told The Boston Globe. "... I say, 'Get in this Ranger boat. I'll put you in this comfortable live well and turn the pump up. It's like laying in a Jacuzzi.' "

But his best selling job came as a kid, when he wanted a $300 rod and reel.

"I'm pleading my case, but they wasn't buying into it," Dyer said. "Finally, I broke down and told my family, 'Think of all the money that you've saved by not buying me shoes.' "

One for the aged

Raiders owner Al Davis dressing down fired coach Lane Kiffin this week came across as the most awkward old-guy video since:

• 1992, when Vice Admiral Stockdale said, "Who am I? Why am here?" during the vice-presidential debate.

• 1989, when Uncle Louis had to prod Aunt Bethany into saying the blessing in "Christmas Vacation."

News flash

The International Gymnastics Federation, hoping to finally put allegations of wrongdoing to rest, is set to declare that all members of the 2000 Chinese Olympic team are now 16 or older.

Weeping with the fishes

How much misery does one state deserve?

Seattle lost the NBA Sonics to Oklahoma City, Washington and Washington State sit 2-3 in the Los Angeles Times' Bottom 10 college-football rankings, and ESPN.com ranked the Mariners — the first team with a $100 million payroll to lose 100 games — No. 4 on its list of baseball's big-spending boondoggles since 1990.

Just to be fair, though, it has been a good year for smelt-dipping and squid-jigging.

Quote marks

• Drew Curtis of Fark.com, after mixed martial arts star Gina Carano described her sport as "just two people going at it ... kind of like sex" on a CBS talk show: "Last we checked, Kama Sutra doesn't usually give you cauliflower ear."

• Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News, with a suggested team slogan after the Rockies followed up their stirring run to the World Series with a 74-88 record this season: "Wait Till Last Year."

• Bumper sticker on a pickup truck heading up I-5: "I fish, therefore I lie."

• Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, after the Mets blew a 3 ½-game lead in September for the second straight season: "As they exited Shea Stadium, female fans received a commemorative choker."

Beyond fantasy

A 35-year-old man in Punta Gorda, Fla., distraught over his fantasy football team, pulled a knife and accosted his roommate, slicing the man's book, holding the weapon to his throat and threatening to kill him, the Naples Daily News reported.

So what squad is this guy managing, Team Manson?

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com