Parishioners could use hymns for ring tones

Any doubt that it's football season in Texas?

David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram passes along this plea from the Greater Tarrant County Pastors Association:

"Please refrain from using your iPhone to obtain last-minute injury news and adjust your fantasy football team's starting lineups during Sunday-morning services."

NBA pop quiz

The Howard who is not one of The Three Stooges (though certainly not for lacking of trying) is:

A. Moe.

B. Curly.

C. Shemp.

D. Josh.

The wheel deal

Australia shocked Canada's two-time defending champs, 72-60, on Tuesday to win the Paralympic gold medal in men's wheelchair basketball.

Basketball purists praised the triumph as the ultimate in team play: no superstars, just a bunch of roll players.

The short take

"First David Eckstein, 5 feet 7 with his spikes on, is voted Most Valuable Player of the 2006 World Series," wrote Dan Daly of the Washington Times. "And now Dustin Pedroia, listed at 5-9 but said to be closer to Eckstein's size, is making a serious run at the American League MVP Award.

"Welcome to post-BALCO baseball."

Hot time

was had

by all

In case you missed it, Gaylord Perry, the Hall of Fame spitball pitcher, celebrated his 70th birthday on Monday.

In lieu of 70 candles, they simply lit a grease fire.

Plasma Screen Dept.

Looking for traces of CERA, a third-generation variation of EPO, Tour de France officials have ordered that the blood samples of several riders be retested.

Er, recycled.

Quote marks

• Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, after the NFL downgraded referee Ed "Hercules" Hochuli for blowing a game-altering call in Sunday's Broncos-Chargers game: "But as another Rams Park media room wag noted, the league should have revoked his gym membership instead."

• Headline at SportsPickle.com: "Hockey Mom voting bloc beats up Figure Skating Mom voting bloc."

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on his favorite Ryder Cup name: "Boo Weekley. It sounds like a Lions fan, doesn't it?"

Three to Zero

Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas is expected to miss at least the first month of the NBA season after undergoing a third surgery on his left knee this week.

Too many more of those, Arenas fans fear, and he'll be known as Agent Zero Ligaments.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com