Giving a new meaning to "die-hard fan"

Yankees, go funeral home?

The Associated Press reported that Puerto Rican undertakers injected the corpse of Angel Pantoja Medina with a special embalming fluid to grant his dying request: To let him stand upright with a Yankees cap on his head for his three-day wake in San Juan.

"Hey, don't laugh," wrote Mark Kriegel of FoxSports.com. "The Yankees just tried the same thing with Carl Pavano — and it worked."

Grab a No. 2 pencil

Sports quiz question, courtesy of Chris Ferrell of the San Antonio Express-News:

"American sports fans can now:

"A. Get caught up in the MLB pennant races.

"B. Turn their attention to football season.

"C. Stop pretending to care about things like water polo, tae kwon do and decathlon."

Give her some room

From the Beauty & the Beast File comes word that Leryn Franco, a two-time Olympic javelin thrower, was also runner-up in the 2006 Miss Paraguay contest.

Which likely explains why the pageant judges were standing 250 feet away during the talent competition.

Pooling their talent

"Now I don't want to say NBC is desperate to keep those Olympic ratings," noted comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, "but they just changed the name of their sitcom 'My Name Is Earl' to 'My Name is Michael Phelps.' "

On further review

Ten men in Albion, N.Y., are talking Guinness World Record after playing a 24-hour, 149-inning charity game of Wiffleball, the Erie Times-News reported.

Actually, the action lasted just 2 ½ hours — and the rest was taken up by umpires doing instant replays.

Heavy Lifting Dept.

Phil Pfister, the World's Strongest Man in 2006, is about to get his own commemorative envelope from the U.S. Postal Service.

Which ought to come in handy the next time you want to mail a refrigerator.

The write stuff

• Assistant GM Gabe Ross of the Sacramento (Calif.) River Cats, on the merits of Obama/McCain bobblehead night: "People are looking for the same traits in their bobblehead as they are in their next president — a candidate with a solid foundation and a good head on their shoulders."

• Drew Curtis of Fark.com, suggesting a Phillies ballpark name change in honor of 45-year-old pitcher Jamie Moyer: "Senior Citizens Bank Park."

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon (Sask.) StarPhoenix, on Charles Barkley's plans to undergo a colonoscopy on TV to promote cancer-prevention awareness: "This is clearly not the time to purchase an HD television."

No-cut contract

Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, defying doctors' orders, announced he plans to play on rather than have surgery on his two torn knee ligaments.

Merriman asks that any further questions be directed toward his medical adviser, Tiger Woods.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com