And his favorite meal is pork chops and turnips

L'il Abner lives!

Two of Louisville quarterback Hunter Caldwell's favorite pastimes, according to the San Antonio Express-News, are "frog-gigging" and "noodling."

(That's spearing bullfrogs and catching catfish barehanded.)

Gutter bawl

Employees of the International Bowling Museum and Hall of Fame in St. Louis were stunned to hear that the kegler shrine will close its doors in October.

In fact it was so quiet, eyewitnesses said, that you could hear ... nah, too easy.

Olympic headlines

• At BorowitzReport.com: "China's gold medals found to have high lead content / Phelps warned not to lick medals."

• At TheOnion.com: "Green-clad Olympic archer steals gold medals from rich, gives them to poor."

• At Fark.com: " 'O, Canada': Not just their anthem, their medal count."

Paper or plastic?

Yes, that was ex-Giants defensive end Michael Strahan helping feed the hungry by bagging groceries at the ShopRite in Town of Wallkill, N.Y., on Wednesday, the Middletown Times Herald-Record reported.

Strahan pooh-poohed his performance, but statisticians credited him with 98 ½ sacks.

Co-pay not included

Purchasers of the Madden '09 video game — which features Brett Favre in his old Packers uniform on the jacket — will be allowed to download updated covers, including:

• For now, Favre in the uniform of his new team, the Jets.

• And later, once the Madden curse kicks in, your choice of Favre with an arm sling, crutches or neck brace.

One big A sample

"With all these swimming world records," mused NewMexiKen.com, "someone better give a drug test to the pool."

Talking the talk

• John Henderson of The Denver Post, on Michael Phelps' continuous trips to the medals podium: " 'The Star-Spangled Banner' is getting as monotonous as Kenny G in an elevator."

• BBC cricket commentator Ben Dirs, on the performance of South African all-rounder Jacques Kallis: "He's tighter than the elephant man's hatband today."

Mane attraction

Now available at Dodgers concessions stands: Manny Ramirez caps — complete with attached dreadlocks.

Now that's a scary thought: Many being Manny.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com