Foul ball: Youth coach accused of taking fundraiser

Two strikes and they're out — of $900.

Strike one: Seems no one in Union Township, Ohio, did a background check on William Mitchell — whose criminal record includes DUI, criminal mischief and receiving stolen property — before letting him coach the "Little Sluggers" baseball team.

Strike two: The 7- and 8-year-old boys lost the proceeds from their cookie-dough fundraiser — earmarked for team pictures, trophies and season-ending party — and Mitchell was charged with theft for pocketing it.

"Our children are supposed to trust these people," angry parent Jeff Ducklaw told Cincinnati's WCPO-TV, "and we have a criminal teaching our kids baseball."

Such as what "caught stealing" means.

Final Cut Dept.

"Ebert & Roeper" — the popular movie-review show that dates to 1975 — is leaving the air, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Roger Ebert announced.

Producers plan to replace it with the more cutting-edge "At the Movies with Mosley & Belichick."

And the winner, by a foot

San Francisco was the walkaway winner when WalkScore.com listed the 10 most walkable U.S. cities, citing such built-in advantages as the city's mild climate, progressive viewpoints and Barry Zito.

Chasing butterflies

Time-tested hitting theories go out the window whenever the Red Sox's Tim Wakefield takes the mound.

"There's no such thing as patience off a knuckler," Angels outfielder Torii Hunter told The Orange County Register. "If it's high, let it fly. If it's low, let it go."

Teeing off

Robbo Robson, in a blog entry titled "Open Sores" at BBCSport.com, didn't take too kindly to American golfers complaining about the miserable weather conditions at this year's British Open.

"Just where do you think golf was invented? California, perhaps, where every day is the same day and the grass never changes and the bunkers are filled in with sand imported from the Outer Hebrides and ... huge overstuffed Craig Stadler looky-likeys crowding onto golf buggies to save their withering pins from too much wear and tear?

"I swear to God, we're only two generations from North American kids being born with casters on their feet."

Clap on, clap off

Looks like the NBA is about to go from Sonic Boom to Oklahoma City Thunder.

Can't wait for the marketing campaign: "Thunder clap — catch it!"

Will tackle for food

The Tennessee Titans and All-Pro defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth appear headed for a holdout.

To hear Haynesworth apologists tell it, the latest contract offer wasn't much better than a kick in the head.

The write stuff

• Marc Tandan of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the Dolphins' new injury-information policy after QB Josh McCown sliced the index finger on his throwing hand cutting a tree stump: "Don't ax, don't tell."

• Headline at SportsPickle.com: "Fan rushed to the hospital after bleeding team colors."

It's over the top

Butte, Mont., will celebrate its late stuntman son this week with "Evel Knievel days" Thursday through Saturday.

Veteran eventgoers say there's nothing more thrilling than seeing a vehicle jumping over 18 cars — and that's just the valet parking.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com