Proof that there are plenty of men ... er, fish in the sea

Talk about a reel-live hero.

Bob Greene, sipping a pre-dawn cup of coffee, heard a drowning man's faint cries for help and pulled him in from Maine's Kennebec River — by grabbing his fishing rod and snagging the man's shirt with a striper lure after a well-placed cast.

As Hallowell police chief Eric Nason told the Kennebec Journal: "He had a pretty good hook on him and was slowly reeling him in when the officer arrived."

Privileged Few Dept.

Among the top 10 perks of being an All-Star, presented by the Yankees' Derek Jeter on CBS's Letterman show:

• "I can re-broadcast games without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

• "If fans hit a beach ball onto the field, I get to keep it.

• "A chance to remind Boston players they only have to win 19 more championships to have as many as we do."

Slap those hands

The NFL will crack down on players who flash hand signals of street gangs during games, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Leaving no stone unturned, investigators poring over Packers film to decode Brett Favre's hand audibles have already identified his gang affiliation as either 4-H or FFA.

East is West Dept.

No wonder American schoolkids score so low in geography.

The Great West Conference announced it is adding five more schools west of the Mississippi — plus a sixth, the New Jersey Institute of Technology.

As Peter Yoon of the Los Angeles Times pointed out: "The New Jersey Institute of Technology, in Newark, isn't even in west New Jersey."

Bo knows horses

Actress Bo Derek, in her first day on the California Horse Racing Board on Thursday, joined her fellow commissioners in voting to ban the use of anabolic steroids.

It won't be long, horse pundits predict, before they scrap the Pick Six and replace it with the Perfect 10.

Got to be there, not

Not everyone is joining "The Way We Were" tearfest for Yankee Stadium as the venerable baseball cathedral draws ever closer to the wrecking ball.

"The only problem is that sentiment is 35 years too late," wrote David Whitley of the Orlando Sentinel. "Today's Yankee Stadium resembles the old one as much as the current Michael Jackson looks like the one from 1973."

Talko time

• Editorial in the Peoria (Ill.) Journal Star, after Belgian brewer InBev purchased St. Louis icon Anheuser-Busch: "Fine. But we draw the line at setting foot inside Stella Artois Stadium, no matter how many home runs Albert Pujols is sure to hit that day."

• Marc Tandan of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after a woman clad only in a thong was spotted watching the Yankees-Blue Jays game from a hotel room overlooking the Rogers Centre in Toronto: "A-Rod is reportedly now over Madonna."

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the Speedo LAZR swimsuits: "I don't mind competitive swimmers wearing the ultrathin, form-hugging suits — as long as we keep them out of the hands of fat tourists."

Gopher broke

Clay Council, Josh Hamilton's 71-year-old BP pitcher, gave up a whopping 35 home runs in just 1 ½ hours at last Monday's All-Star Home Run Derby.

Or as we like to call that here in cellar-dwelling Seattle, a quality start.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays in The Seattle Times. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com