Sharapova didn't lose quietly at Wimbledon

Maria Sharapova wasn't in peak form at Wimbledon this year — but enough about her grunting.

The best the 21-year-old Russian could muster this year — 103.2 decibels, louder than a motorcycle or lawn mower — fell short of last year's top effort of 103.7, which is louder than a small aircraft landing. By comparison, the circuit's second-loudest grunter, Serena Williams, registers only 88, which is in violin range.

Noted Caroline Gammell and Rupert Neate of the London Guardian, on hand with a sound-level meter to gleefully gauge every grunt:

"Sharapova is back to her old tricks, grunting at levels to match a pneumatic drill."

It's a hit with mom

Ex-pitcher Billy Harris, inducted into the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame on Saturday, says he signed with the Brooklyn Dodgers because their Montreal farm team was 530 miles from his parents' home in Duguayville, New Brunswick.

"They came to see to see me in Montreal," recalled Harris, 76, during his induction speech. "My mother asked my father: 'What's the score?' We were still taking batting practice."

Fast things first

Yes, Nike's LZR Racer is the fastest thing developed since Clark Griswold perfected spray-on lubricants, but at what cost?

"If you wonder why mankind can't cure cancer or solve the energy problem or climate crisis," noted Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, "it's because all the world's scientists have been diverted into R&D of the swimsuit."

Bicycle built for one

Seahawks defensive end Darryl Tapp preferred riding a bike during his days at Virginia Tech, despite the fact his brothers bought him a car.

"Too many guys in a car, you're gonna have trouble," his father, Charles Tapp Sr., explained to the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot. "You can't ride a bunch of guys around on a bicycle."

Woe, Henry

While ex-Bengals wideout Chris Henry sat in court last Wednesday during jury selection for his upcoming assault trial, Cincinnati's WLWT-TV reported, a parking-lot owner had to fend off a tow-truck driver who'd hitched up to Henry's SUV in the courthouse parking lot.

For a second there, he was nearly a repossession receiver.

Three and out

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on why the Pistons traded for UAB forward Walter Sharpe — whose medical dossier includes bouts of narcolepsy — after the Sonics made him the 32nd selection in last week's NBA draft: "When you draft as low as the Pistons did, sometimes you have to go for a sleeper pick."

• Ex-defensive tackle Warren Sapp, to the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, on why he's retiring with no regrets: "It would've been real nice to get 100 sacks and all that, but I'm OK with 96.5. It's triple digits, right?"

The statues are smiling

Wimbledon officials, tired of swooping pigeons, brought in hired guns to shoot them down.

Tennis historians immediately declared it the mother of all drop shots.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com