Rocco almost left Tiger wobbly kneed

So what does Tiger Woods do for his next encore — walk on water hazards?

With his gritty U.S. Open triumph padding his string of titles, cash flow and fame, Woods is the Yankees of golf, with one huge exception — even non-New Yorkers never grow tired of seeing him win.(As for Tiger's knee pains at the U.S. Open? Armchair surgeons suspect it's either an anterior cruciate or a rocco mediate.)

Uh, gee, thanks

Hall of Fame manager Sparky Anderson is a big fan — comparatively speaking — of Joe Morgan, his former Reds second baseman.

"He's probably in the 5 percent of people in America that you just love to be around," Anderson told the Contra Costa Times. "I'd tell my players, I've got to treat you right during the season. But during the offseason, if you come to my doorstep, I'm shutting the door in your face.

"But Joe can stay at my place any day he wants."

No Pampering

Laila Ali, a boxing champ like her father Muhammad, is expecting a son in September.

Something tells us he'll be wearing Everlast diapers.

Fish report

Dave Barry of the Miami Herald offered up this quickie scouting report on the NFL Dolphins after watching their annual charity golf tournament Monday: "They have size, but they putt poorly."

Paging Annie Savoy

The final Hall of Fame game between the Cubs and Padres was rained out Monday in Cooperstown, N.Y.

Conspiracy theorists suspect it's the work of Lou Piniella's latest minor-league call-up, Crash Davis.

Quote 'em

• Vancouver (B.C.) comedian Torben Rolfsen, on Michael Vick's younger brother Marcus getting arrested on suspicion of DUI and eluding police: "Considering they caught him, I'd say he's got a pretty solid defense against the latter charge."

• Headline at Sportspickle.com: "Hand check leaves Paul Pierce on life support."

• Five-year-old golf phenom Gehrig Geiss of Glen Ullin, N.D., to the Bismarck Tribune, on what he wants to be when he grows up: "Tiga Woods."

• Drew Curtis of Fark.com, on reports that Alex Rodriguez sought out Pete Rose for some hitting tips: "In a related story, A-Rod also has Lakers +7, Tiger to win, and the money line on the Red Sox."

Touchdowns galore

Anaheim, Calif., stuntman Jim "Mouth" Purol plans to sit in every seat in the Rose Bowl — 92,542 in all — in five days without stopping, starting at 10 a.m. on July 7.

Sore bottoms? Pundits fear he's about to experience the granddaddy of them all.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com