Lou's wit is a blessing, but about that curse ...

Cubs manager Lou Piniella has yet to write that long-awaited title chapter, but he's coined a new phrase for the team's foibles: "Cubbie occurrence."

And Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times thinks Piniella might be on to something."[Felix] Pie's twisted testicle — has it untwisted yet? — is a Cubbie occurrence," Mariotti wrote. "[New owner Sam] Zell is a Cubbie occurrence.

"Blaming the Evil Stoney in '04 was a Cubbie occurrence. Trading Lou Brock and not keeping Greg Maddux in 1992 were Cubbie occurrences.

"All the various animals associated with a century of futility are Cubbie occurrences.

"Thanks, Lou, for new material.

"Unless Piniella, too, is a Cubbie occurrence."

Bedford Falls, Utah

It must be a wonderful life at this Class AAA farm stop.

Noted the headline in the Deseret News: "Many Angels get their wings in Salt Lake."

March Badness

So, is your CBI bracket in tatters, too?

Movie bluffs

Some sports movies just begging to be made, courtesy of NewMexiKen.com:

• " 'The UnNatural': Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds pursue the home-run record.

• " 'Field of Bad Dreams': The story of Wrigley Field and the Chicago Cubs.

• "The remake of 'North Dallas Forty': Jessica Simpson visits Tony Romo and takes an IQ test."

Pass the mothballs

Clay Bennett is itching to move Seattle's NBA team to Oklahoma City but says he'd like to leave the Sonics nickname behind.

Considering the team's plummet to 31-51 and 17-54 in his two years of stewardship, no word on which side covers the cost of any needed fumigation.

Final Foursight

• Memphis coach John Calipari, to FSN, on star freshman Derrick Rose and the lure of the NBA: "If he wants to do what's right for him and his family, he'll go pro ... If he wants to do what's right for me and my family, he'll stay."

• Larry Stewart of the Los Angeles Times, on why TV Land executives are pulling for a North Carolina-West Virginia title game: "Andy Griffith's alma mater versus Don Knotts' alma mater."

• Jeff Schultz of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, on predicting Georgetown would be in the Final Four: "Like I said: North Carolina-Memphis-UCLA-Davidson."

• CBS's David Letterman, on a sure sign your team is not going to make the NCAA tournament: "School's mascot is a giant asthma inhaler."

Over the radar

Question: What do Denver Police call a Kenyon Martin speeding ticket?

Answer: A K-Mart red-and-blue-light special.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com