Flush with big win, they hit every two-ply shot

Say this for the women's basketball players at North Carolina: They certainly know their rolls.

Coach Sylvia Hatchell — giddy after her third-ranked Tar Heels beat archrival Duke in Durham — ordered the bus driver to pull over upon their return to Chapel Hill so she and a few players could toss toilet paper into some trees, the Raleigh News & Observer reported.

Apparently TP isn't PC in N.C., though, because police quickly quashed the festivities and gave the coach a verbal warning for littering. But not even that could wipe that smile off her face.

"That was a big win for us over Duke," Hatchell told the newspaper. "Let them do a little bit of celebrating. ... It was worth it."

The tooth hurts

Saturday, in case you missed it, was "Canada's hockey holiday," as decreed by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Noted Garth Woolsey of the Toronto Star: "Feb. 9 also happens to be the feast day of Apollonia, the patron saint of dentistry. Coincidence?"

No brew in Brewer

Timberwolves coach Randy Wittman isn't worried about long-and-lean rookie Corey Brewer losing any effectiveness as his body fills out.

"No matter how much weight he gains, he's going to be 7 percent body fat. He's made that way," Wittman told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "When he's 65, old and gray, he's not going to be on some porch with a beer belly."

Just call 'em mashcots

Ridgefield High School in southwest Washington boasts one of sports' better team nicknames. Correction: Make it two.

The boys there are known as the Spudders; the girls, Sweet Potatoes.

Talko time

• Dan Daly of the Washington Times, after Yankees executive Lonn Trost envisioned "a five-star hotel ... [with] a ballfield in the middle" in describing the new Yankee Stadium: "Guess that means Derek Jeter will be fielding a lot more room-service grounders."

• David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on letter-of-intent day: "After listening to a variety of college football coaches tout their latest recruiting classes, I've decided that every team is going to win a conference championship next season."

• NASCAR driver J.J. Yeley, to The Associated Press, after a crash-filled practice before the Budweiser Shootout: "It was totally like 'Days of Thunder.' I felt like Cole Trickle."

• New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin, to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, when asked whether he ever got run over during his college days by Syracuse backfield mate Larry Csonka: "A couple times when I wasn't fast enough."

Staple environment

The Roger Clemens soap opera took another stunning twist last week when ex-trainer Brian McNamee told investigators he injected Clemens' wife, Debbie, with HGH five years ago in preparation for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit photo shoot.

Oh, yeah, her ... Wasn't she the one in the asterisk bikini?

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com