The couple that stares down death together ...

When it came to taking the plunge, once just wasn't enough for this couple.

Jeanie Dulski and Jamy Knittle not only exchanged wedding vows at the airport in Hazleton, Pa., The Associated Press reported, the 30-year-old newlyweds took a skydive from 10,000 feet just 45 minutes later. No big deal, said Dulski: "Getting married is scarier than jumping out of a plane."

Added Hazleton mayor Lou Barletta, who performed the ceremony: "I'm sure my wife would like to see me jump out of an airplane without a parachute."

An Erie drive home

Not only did the Bills suffer a snowy 8-0 loss at Cleveland on Sunday, they had to suffer the ignominy of a 190-mile bus ride back to Buffalo on Monday after the team's charter plane drove off an airport taxiway and got its front tire stuck in mud.

NFL statisticians did the math, estimating the Bills' only productive drive of the weekend ate up 4 ½ hours off the clock and measured 336,000 yards.

Class of the heads

Sportspickle.com commemorated its 300th issue by ranking its top 100 satirical headlines, including:

No. 96: "NBA Players Union Proposes Using Medical Marijuana for Treatment of All Injuries"

No. 76: "Kenyan Policy of Placing All Schools 26.2 Miles from Villages Really Paying Off"

No. 58: "Eli Manning Not Sure How to Tell the Giants He Was Adopted"

No. 19: "Homeschool Phenom Scores 118 Points Against His Mom"

No. 1: "6-4, 255-Pound Third-Grader Wins Science Fair with Steroids Experiment"

Yankee, stay home

Drayson Bowman, the Spokane Chiefs winger who leads the Western Hockey League with 27 goals and ranks near the top in a bunch of other offensive categories, somehow got left off Team USA for the upcoming world junior championships.

Or as Cory Wolfe of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix put it: "Star-spangled bummer."

Success is ensured

Al Scates, the 45th-year coach of the UCLA men's volleyball team, has guided the Bruins to a record 19 national championships and has never had a losing season.

The team's recruiting motto, we assume, is You're In Good Hands With Al Scates.

Quote, end quote

• David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on the engagement of golfer Greg Norman and former tennis star Chris Evert: "Not to be cynical, but I think Norman loves Chrissie for her majors."

• Patriots safety Rodney Harrison, to the NFL Network, after Ravens coach Brian Billick blew him a kiss during their game last week: "I'm a happily married guy."

• Ex-NBA star Charles Barkley, now a TNT studio host, on why he owes it all to basketball: "I'm 44 years old — I've never had a real job."

• Drew Curtis of Fark.com, after St. Louis Rams owner Georgia Frontiere was taken to a hospital in Los Angeles: "The hospital is expected to move to St. Louis next week."

Atlanta Possums, anyone?

OK, Atlanta Falcons, we get it — we realize you're sympathetic to ex-teammate Michael Vick sitting in the slammer because of his dog cruelty.

So you can stop rolling over and playing dead any week now.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com