Talk about a diluted free-agent market

Talk about throwing a nasty splitter.

Vienna, Austria, will host the world's first "divorce fair" Oct. 27 to 28, Agence France-Presse reported, threatening Dallas' global claim to "The Big D" nickname. Among the impressive list of experts already lined up to dole out free advice on breakups: lawyers, mediators, private detectives, and past and present Yankees managers.

Off-speed stuff

The southwest Ohio cities of Fairfield and Hamilton have renamed a street that runs between them Joe Nuxhall Way in honor of the former Reds pitcher and broadcaster, 79, born and still living there.

In keeping with the theme, traffic engineers plan to emphasize the straight stuff but mix in a few more curves.

Shirt stains

"More bad news for the Tour de France," reported Times reader Bill Littlejohn. "That yellow jersey they confiscated from Floyd Landis just tested positive for synthetic fabrics."

Typo personalities

Snippet from Bill Simmons' ESPN.com blog during Game 4 of the Indians-Red Sox Series:

"11:01: Hey, do you think Jhonny Peralta and Dwyane Wade ever thought about starting a 'Birth Certificate Bloopers' support group?"

Bleeping right

Swearing on the job relieves stress and is good for workers and bosses, according to a new study conducted by the University of East Anglia.

As if Lou Piniella needed any more incentive.

Columbus daze

The Dead Schembechlers — that Michigan-hating punk band from Columbus — are a bit leery about how they'll be portrayed in the upcoming HBO documentary "Michigan vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry," set to air Nov. 13.

"We've seen too many hack jobs done at our expense by The Liberal Wolverine Media," said guitarist Bo Thunders on the band's Web site. "For God's sake, this company actually has the name BO right there in their moniker. Do I hafta draw you a map?"

Talking the talk

• Mike Downey of the Chicago Tribune, on South Florida, South Carolina and Kentucky ahead of USC, Florida and Texas in the first BCS rankings: "Of course they are. And the Three Stooges can sing better than the Three Tenors."

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s guest appearance on the Golf Channel's "Natalie Gulbis Show": "He'll drive for show, she'll putt for dough."

• Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden, to SI.com, on new QB Jeff Garcia's hot start: "I learned from [ex-Vikings coach] Bud Grant that every coach needs three things: a loyal dog, a faithful wife and a heck of a quarterback."

• Steve Harvey of the Los Angeles Times, on how bad it has gotten for the 0-6 Dolphins: "Overhead cameras for the team's games are carried by the Bad Year Blimp."

This guy spells trouble

You think it's easy stopping Navy quarterback Kaipo-Noa Hiwahiwa Akahi Kaheaku-Enhada, who averages 5.5 yards a rush and boasts a passer rating of 152.1?

Hey, easier done than said.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com