On second thought, he should have dropped this one

Turns out he's a wide receiver second, and safety first.

Bills wideout Lee Evans, during an offseason fishing trip off the Florida coast, wanted nothing to do with one denizen of the deep once he saw it reeled to the surface — a 7-foot, 250-pound bull shark.

"It took about 45 minutes at least to bring it in," Evans told The Associated Press. "And when it got to the top, it was, 'Oh, yeah, that's a shark.' So I went up to the top of the boat and just watched.

"I watch the National Geographic Channel and the Discovery Channel all the time. But to actually be there, ah, man, it was scary."

Evans did finally work up the gumption for an up-close look, though — "but I touched it real quick."

Two bits, four bits

The four-day Texas state high-school football coaches convention in Fort Worth attracted more than 11,000 attendees, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported.

As for the downside, wrote columnist David Thomas, "Waiters and waitresses at downtown restaurants report disappointment upon learning that, when it comes to tipping, coaches don't give 110 percent."

Happy Returns Dept.

Did a few wedding guests forget to consult the bridal-gift registry?

We could swear that was newlywed boxing champ Laila Ali, standing in line at the merchandise-returns desk, waiting to exchange an armful of George Foreman Grills.

Unbearable Barry

Just how much more of this drawn-out Barry Bonds home-run monotony can a nation possibly endure?

"On a recent Monday night broadcast of the Giants and Atlanta Braves," wrote Michael Lough of the Macon (Ga.) Telegraph, "the over-under on number of absolutely useless shots of Bonds doing absolutely nothing was about 193.

"Pitch. Barry standing. Pitch. Barry standing. Pitch. Barry blinking. Pitch. Batter. Barry breathing.

"An ESPN update on Barry Bonds: 'He has retired to the restroom, and we believe he's taken a Sports Illustrated with him.' "

Talko time

• Titans safety Donnie Nickey, to The Associated Press, after quarterback Vince Young punched him on the helmet with his passing hand during a training-camp altercation: "Not with your right hand, man. Jab with the left and wait for the cavalry."

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, on the Braves trading catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia to the Rangers: "For Mark Teixeira, and one vowel and five consonants to be named later."

• Toronto comedian Frenchie McFarlane, on injury-dogged David Beckham being considered for British knighthood: "Sir Lancelot is taken, so how about Sir Missalot?"

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after Manchester United signed a 9-year-old soccer phenom: "Man U? More like Boy U."

Enter the draggin'

An obvious martial-arts fan, identified only by his surname Wong, paid $5,000 at a Hong Kong Transport Department auction just so his car could sport a vanity license plate reading "BRUCELEE," according to the department's Web site.

It doesn't take a thief to figure this guy's ride is destined for the local chop shop.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com