Should have given these guys a red car

Autobahn? Try auto gone.

Two English soccer fans couldn't locate their rental car after a World Cup game in Cologne, ananova.com reported, even though they'd alertly copied down the street name where they'd parked — "Einbahn Strasse" — to avoid just such a problem. They learned the folly of their ways when they asked a policeman, who pointed out that "Einbahn Strasse" is German for "one-way street" and that every other street in inner-city Cologne boasts such a sign.

They finally found the car, with the help of police, a few hours later.

Losing hurts

Ilija Petkovic announced he will step down as manager of the Serbia & Montenegro team that has been outscored in its first two World Cup matches by a whopping 7-0.

Guess a guy can take only so much S&M.

Punch in, punch out

The Heat's Dwyane Wade hit the winning foul shots with 1.9 seconds left in overtime to win Game 5 of the NBA Finals on Sunday, capping his 43-point performance.

"And you know what he did?" asked Michael Lough of the Macon (Ga.) Telegraph. "Nothing.

"Know what he didn't do? Didn't prance, dance, strut or scream. Didn't pound his chest. Didn't cup his hand to his ear. Didn't race for the most unpopulated part of the floor so everybody could see him. ...

Talking the talk

• Trinidad and Tobago coach Leo Beenhakker, as quoted by BBC Sport, when asked about his team's World Cup worthiness: "A miracle to be here? No, we just came by plane."

• Christopher Moltisanti, the character portrayed by Michael Imperioli on HBO's "The Sopranos," with the thought for the day: "You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?"

• Elliott Harris of the Chicago Sun-Times, on baseball's steroid plague: "Oh, for the days when Cecil Fielder was swatting home runs, and the only question about his performance-enhancing substances may have involved triple cheeseburgers."

• David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on how tough the course conditions were for the U.S. Open at Winged Foot: "A golfer lost his ball in the rough but found Jimmy Hoffa."

Das loot

Dirk Nowitzki, the Mavericks' star forward, has been fined $5,000 for booting a basketball into the stands during Game 5 of the NBA Finals.

With the World Cup being staged back in Dirk's homeland, you'd think the very least the NBA could do is give him one free kick.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com