Katie Brownell, we assume, doesn't get many you-throw-like-a-girl catcalls from opposing dugouts.

Brownell, 11, pitching for her Dodgers Little League team in Oakfield, N.Y., had the ultimate putdown for the boys on the opposing Yankees team in an 11-0 victory last Saturday: 18 batters up, 18 down — and all 18 via strikeouts. In fact, she didn't even go to a three-ball count.

"As far back as I can remember, I don't ever recall hearing of a perfect game," Eric Klotzbach, president of the Oakfield-Alabama Little League, told The Daily News of Batavia.

And her performance was no fluke, either. She threw five innings of one-hit ball — with 14 of the 15 outs strikeouts — in the season opener, and she's hitting .714 after three games.

"She had older brothers, and we were always outside," said her mother, Denise Bischoff, "so the minute she could pick up a ball, she was [playing]."

With rumblings that this thing could go Hollywood, Tatum O'Neal is reportedly warming up in the bullpen.

Swim pickings

Last Friday marked the two-year anniversary of Dick the goldfish's demise at the Sky Port Diner in Scotia, N.Y., despite the valiant efforts of customers to extend his 17-year life.

When Dick was diagnosed with swim-bladder disease, which kept him from achieving liftoff in his tank, a special sling was constructed of fishing bobbers, drinking straws, gauze and string to get him swimming again. Alas, he died a month later.

But the fish's legacy lives on. Diner co-owner Patty Sherman told The Times yesterday that they're still selling commemorative Dick T-shirts, even if a 14-year-old albino frog has replaced the beloved goldfish as the center of customers' attention.

And, rumor has it, hydraulic engineers inspired by the device have finally put the finishing touches on a prototype for Joe Frazier.

OK, well, maybe

Joe Namath is optimistic that lawmakers will help the New York Jets build a new stadium in Manhattan, but he stopped short of promising it would happen.

"It's one thing to guarantee the biggest upset in Super Bowl history," wrote David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, "but even Namath's smart enough not to make guarantees when politicians are involved."

Talking the talk

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, Calif., after the Cavaliers' LeBron James fired his agents and replaced them with three of his high-school buddies: "That's like John Travolta being represented by the Sweathogs."

• Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, on Barry Bonds' injury rehab: "Now that doctors are done pumping antibiotics into Bonds' knee, can they hook up an IV to his personality?"

• Brad Dickson of www.sportsfanmagazine.com, on the ultimate third-strike deterrent for steroid users: "Filling the K.C. Royals' managerial opening."

• Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post, on the Rockies losing 26 of their first 37 games: "OK, so they'll have to stay hot to keep up the pace, but give the Rockies a little credit. With 11 wins, they're three ahead of Jon Garland."

Reign check, please

Ex-Sonic Shawn Kemp, after pleading guilty Wednesday to attempted possession of marijuana, told reporters that the court system "is not a place I'm familiar with, and you shall not see me in a position like this again."

In other words, he has no intention of becoming known as The Arraign Man.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com