Bromley Lowe, a former Baltimore Orioles mascot, is one old Bird who was only too happy to fly.

Sweltering summer days in a costume made of synthetic feathers, foam and fiberglass will do that to a guy.

"Parades are the worst," Lowe told USA Today. "I was in a Fourth of July parade in Laurel, Md., in 1995, and it felt like it would never end. I was treated in an ambulance. They hooked me up to an IV.

"I think the San Diego Chicken put it best: 'If you can't stand the heat, get out of the chicken.' "

No restrictor plate

Eddie Dickerson resigned as Hendrick Motorsports' director of chassis engineering after his arrest on charges of disorderly intoxication after police discovered him at 4 a.m. along A1A in Daytona Beach, Fla., wearing nothing but a towel, the Charlotte Observer reported.

As for Dickerson's choice of attire, alert defense lawyers are expected to argue he was merely drafting.

If the shoe fits

Ruben Santamaria drove nonstop from San Antonio to Denver just to win an NBA All-Star contest for collectors of Nike Air Jordan shoes.

Little wonder he won: He spends about $2,000 a month on his collection that takes up nearly three-fourths of his bedroom.

"Sometimes I go without eating or toilet paper," Santamaria, 27, told The Associated Press. "Even my girlfriend, she wants to kick me out of the apartment. It's kind of ridiculous, I know.

"(But) I got a lot of respect from sneakerheads."

Say it ain't so, Fido

David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram is threatening to come out with a steroids expose of his own — and he too is threatening to name big names.

"Although I can't really get into specifics at this point," Thomas wrote, "I promise that you and your kids will be disappointed to learn just how Clifford the Big Red Dog became so big."

Talking the talk

• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on Barry Bonds' recent knee operation: "Doctors rushed him into surgery when tests showed he had blood in his steroid stream."

• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on what St. Peter said to bowling legend Dick Weber last week before allowing him to enter the pearly gates: "What size shoes do you need?"

Good food, and Yao

The parents of Rockets center Yao Ming have opened a $1.5 million Chinese sports joint, called Yao Restaurant and Bar, on Houston's west side, the Houston Chronicle reported. The VIP room even features extra-tall stools and 10-foot-high doors to accommodate NBA-sized guests.

Menu specialties, we assume, include Peking Dunk, Hakka-Shaq Noodles and — John Stockton's favorite — Pick-And-Egg Rolls.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com