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Banker puts stock in Bonds for final series

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

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Mike Mahan, with visions of a million-dollar home-run ball dancing in his head, has shelled out $25,000 to buy up all 3,000 seats in Dodger Stadium's right-field pavilion for Barry Bonds' season-ending visit there on Oct. 1 and 3.

"Obviously there are no guarantees, but I have crunched the numbers," Mahan, a 28-year-old investment banker, told the Los Angeles Daily News.

Mahan plans to put 500 friends and relatives in the pavilion, with the agreement that he'll split the proceeds with any of them who snag, say, Bonds' 700th, 714th or 715th career homer.

"My mom wanted (a ticket)," Mahan said, "but I don't want to put her in the middle of a potential mob scene. If she goes, I may send her down to get some food when Bonds comes up."

Scalpers' itch

The bad news is that half the tickets remain unsold for this year's Olympic Games in Athens, Greece.

On the bright side, organizers are now just a few sales shy of achieving — in the creative marketing vernacular of our local WNBA team — "a lower-bowl sellout."

Check his bat speed

The last track shoe probably hasn't dropped on sprinter Tim Montgomery telling a grand jury that BALCO provided steroids for Giants slugger Barry Bonds.
 
"In short," wrote Randy Turner of the Winnipeg Free Press, "Montgomery ratted out a very large man who makes millions of dollars for his unparalleled ability to swing a baseball bat.

"Question: Is Montgomery still the world's fastest man?

"Answer: Dude, he'd better be."

Gift rap is extra

Vince Spadea was so euphoric over his victory on Sunday at Wimbledon, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported, that he announced at his postmatch news conference: "I'm Spadea. I'm not afraid-o-ya. I'm a man of the lady-uhs."

For the record, Spadea is a native of the rap-music hotbed of Boca Raton, Fla.

Stock portfolio

Terry Irwin, John Stockton's coach at Spokane's Gonzaga Prep, was among four inductees into the Washington Interscholastic Basketball Coaches Association Hall of Fame on Monday night, and the Spokesman-Review was on hand to record his induction speech.

"A lot of guys have won state titles," said Irwin, who didn't, "but I'm the only one who coached one of the top 50 players of all time.

"That's better than winning any state title ... well, no, it isn't."

The write stuff

• CBS's David Letterman, with a weather update: "It was so hot in New York today, Jennifer Lopez married Ted Williams."

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, with a legal update from Colorado: "There was a new motion by the defense Monday in the Kobe Bryant trial, but the motion was blocked by Detroit's Ben Wallace."

• Dan Daly of the Washington Times, on Mike Tyson saying he needs only seven fights in the next three years to get out of debt: "Now he just has to find seven opponents willing to let him eat their children."

That burns him up

Viorel Leahu, 41, faces charges in Romania after he tried to blow up his kitchen because his wife was such a lousy cook, a national newspaper reported.

Police, sensing a copy-cat crime, suspect he got the idea while watching the Lakers.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com